Drunk: They’re, like, Mafia terrorists! …but they’re French. –Divine Bar West Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Businesswoman #1: So I had to go in this little booth, and it has these tiny holes that shoot air at you! And I was like “What on earth is this for?” and the security guy said “Oh, it’s so we can get a sense of your aura.” I mean really, they don’t let you get on a plane if your aura is bad?
Businesswoman #2: Wow, I guess so. Airport security is getting really tight these days.
Businesswoman #1: Seriously.
–50th & 7th
Overheard by: Arielle
Guy #1: God, I hate the Heebs. How can I join Hezbollah?
Guy #2: Shut the fuck up, man! The government probably heard that!
–4 train, 86th St
Overheard by: waiting for a sniper to take him out
Preacher woman: They say, if you see something, say something — if you see a suspicious package, say something! Well, Hell is a suspicious package!
Commuter: Since it’s about a hundred and forty degrees down here, I’d say this was Hell. Who can I speak to about it?
–2/3 station, Fulton St
Overheard by: Karen Maria
Man in nearly empty train: There’s an unclaimed bag back there on a seat.
Man: There’s a bag back there that no one is claiming, and I thought you should know.
Conductor: No… I think it must belong to somebody.
–Harlem line, Metro-North
Overheard by: getting off the next stop
TSA guard #1: You’re new here, right?
TSA guard #2: Yeah. I worked at the Gap before, so this is different.
Child: Mommy, why do we have to take off our shoes?
Mom: Because that’s the kind of irrational world we live in, where little children have to take off their shoes.
–Security line, LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: jenya
Woman #1: They confiscated my fluorescent light because they said it was a fire hazard.
Woman #2: Oh yeah?
Woman #1: Yeah…They should have been there when I set my mother on fire.
–Target, Erskine St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Courtney C.
Passenger: There’s something wrong at the UN so I have to go in and fix it.
–F train, Carroll St
Overheard by: confused grad student
Woman on cell: Yeah, the kitty pushes the others around. He’s a real tyrant… Uh-huh. Guess what she named him: Osama. –Central Park