Archive for the ‘National Security’ Category

Sara Lee Joins the War on Terror

Girl: Hey, where’s my bag? Why hasn’t my bag come through the machine? My other one did; did you have to rescan it or something?
TSA guy: Oh, don’t worry. that’s because we’re keeping it in a 350 degree oven to get it warm and fluffy and then we’re going to toast it to a nice golden brown.
Girl: What? –JFK Overheard by: bre

Remember That Whole Strike Thing?

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against! –Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Wednesday One-liners, I’m Your Father

Father: Oh, you mean hummus. Hamas is a terrorist organization. –14th & 6th Overheard by: Daniel Radosh Man on stoop on cell: Son, it sounds like you got yourself an STD. –Windsor Terrace Overheard by: LaurenG Dad: Now don’t go getting lost again. It cost me a lot of money to get you back last time. –Bronx Zoo Father: It was because of nuclear proliferation. All the dinosaurs shot nukes at each other. –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: JB Man: The last time a bird pooped on me I met your mother. –Central Park Zoo