Archive for the ‘Nerds’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Giggle and Snort

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women. –N Train Overheard by: annearchist Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion? –Hunter College Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it? –JCPenny Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good. –Flushing, Queens Overheard by: Samantha Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce. –Columbia University Overheard by: Nicole

Wednesday's One-Liners Sell Themselves

Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up. –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: joy Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop! –16th St & 7th Ave Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers. –Brooklyn Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels. –14th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Diaz

You'd Think It Was Another Country

Teen geek #1: I need a passport.
Teen geek #2: What for? You don't go to other countries.
Teen geek #1: I went to Canada!
Teen geek #2: Canada?! Canada doesn't count!
Teen geek #1: Canada totally counts! If you go to the French part, they speak French and stuff. –F Train Overheard by: jayloo who burst out laughing

Wednesday One-Liners Like the Moon

Overweight geeky lunatic protester: The perpetual battery will last longer than any of us! The perpetual battery is the answer to all of our energy problems! It will draw its power from the very vacuum of space! –Union Square South Overheard by: Percival Crazy old guy with beard and hat with lots of buttons: Where is the moon? Where is the moon, where is the galaxy? Have you ever seen Men in Black? It's all about the galaxy. The earth is beneath Columbus Circle. The moon is at 64th and Central Park West. If you had to suspend reality, how would you do it? –Uptown 2 Train Overheard by: Jingles Professor: Has anybody ever seen a solar eclipse? Anybody, anybody? (silence) No? Well, maybe we were all inside on Facebook when it happened… –St. John's University, Staten Island Overheard by: Andrea Visiting professor, explaining "word salad": Cream cheese to the moon mother, fuckers! –Columbia University Overheard by: Molly Moo Obviously sober guy: I know Vikings eat ham, but what about Saturn? –Rotating Cube Sculpture, Astor Place Blonde: You cannot eat in space! It sucks you in. –Union Square Crazy bag man with hat full of buttons: Where's the moon, where's the moon? If the globe on Columbus Cirlce is the earth, the moon is on 63rd Street West. That is a test of spatial ree-al-uh-tee. How well did you do? –Uptown 3 Train, Brooklyn Overheard by: Les Izzmore