Archive for the ‘Nerds’ Category

Like When He Was 2 and He Still Didn't Know About Santa

Hot nerdy girl: Like that one time when I was 11, and I got in trouble for telling Kevin that there's bacteria in yogurt and he started crying. Like, ugh, its not my fault you raised him to be so oblivious.
Hipster friend: Yeah, he was like 6 or something, he shoulda known dat shit by then. –66th St & Broadway Overheard by: Robert

Wednesday One-Liners Will Be Married to Supermodels One Day

Nerdy tourist boy looking at display: My depth perception is yelling at me… –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: jules Pizza guy on cell: Have a good 4th… What? No, I said to have a good 4th, not "may the force be with you." (pause) Have a good 4th. (pause) Yeah, have a good 4th, and may the force be with you. Uh- huh. Good night. –Dekalb & Hall St, Brooklyn Indian nerd to friends, in the midst of heated debate: Dude, vitamins are fucking weak! –Grand Central Subway Platform Overheard by: djprojexion Geek on cell, in line at Comic Con: Dude, I'm at the con… It's like, ten times more awesome…than anything awesome! –NYC Comic Con Overheard by: RedmanInc Nerdy guy: Some super powers come with implied powers. Like the power of flight. You assume the power of wind resistance, because you'd get pretty freaking cold flying 200 mph. But no one ever thinks of that. –Fordham Law School

Now Playing: Wednesday One-Liners

Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie! –AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight. –Union Square Overheard by: Ross Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet. –AMC Loews, Lincoln Square Overheard by: Holly Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie. –62nd & Broadway Overheard by: Richard Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!" –NYU Dining Hall Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded. –AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway Overheard by: Mark Nilges Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long. –AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Wednesday Fa La La La Liners

Nerdy middle aged white woman to postal clerk: Yes, I'd like just one sheet of the Disney, and one of the Kwanzaa. –Cathedral Station Post Office Overheard by: Emily B. Woman yelling down a stairwell: Happy holidays to you, ma'am! Hope you choke on a candy cane! –Central Park South Overheard by: Daisy Mae Girl: One morning, I woke up and I thought it was Christmas. Then I went outside and I realized it's not Christmas! –57th & Columbus Overheard by: Have a holly jolly Columbus Day? Irish tourist woman: You went to Macy's? Did you see outside? They have black Santas here. –Brendan's Bar Overheard by: Danny Old guy scanning tickets, singing quietly to self after each bar code beep: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way… –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh! Conductor on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving shortly. In case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping, feel free to stop by the Metro North booth. You could buy a 10-trip for the kids, a weekly for the wife, or a one-way for the in-laws. Merry Christmas. –Metro North Overheard by: Christmas Spirit

So Are You a Wednesday or a One-Liner?

Gay guy to friend: The men in my family die young while the women live much longer. I don't know where that leaves me. –W 4th St & Bank St Daughter to mother: There are only boys and girls, right? –M60 Bus Math geek to another: I think society benefits more from cross-dressing than murder. –Outside Tisch Hall, NYU Overheard by: shaun Woman to man: You did know she had a penis, right? –Broadway Overheard by: Jessica Guy, to another standing up: Sit down, sugar tits, this ain't our stop! –G Train Overheard by: Matthew & Aaron Guy to another: Hey, how're the bumps on your cervix doing? –Thompson & Bleecker Overheard by: office peon

One-Liners Are All Wednesday Can Afford

11-year-old girl: Yo mamma's broke cuz she spend all her money on rhinestones and cigarttes! –Riverside Branch Library Overheard by: always listening Polite lady: Go straight down that way and cut through the projects–don't worry, they're mixed income–and you'll see it when you come out on A. –1st Ave & 5th St. Overheard by: Mrqs Old lady waiting for the bathroom: How long do people stay in toilets? Jesus! It's a public toilet! There are all these people from the streets that come in, and they always pee on the floor. Well, that's what happens when you're poor. –NY Public Library Overheard by: Avery Homegirl to friend: So she was like "oh, my name's Diamond. And this is my sister, her name's Ruby. Our daddy named us after stuff he can't afford." I was like, shit, if that was the case, my daddy woulda call us "lights" and "gas." –Prospect Park Nerdish teen: What the hell was a warlock doing in a dungeon when he had no money? –C Train Overheard by: Andrew