Moustached Fat Man: So I started my own ‘zine. Hopefully I’ll meet people. –Astor Place Overheard by: Tibbie X
Archive for the ‘News’ Category
No, you really don’t want to be there
Yuppie: If I could be anywhere in the world now, I would be in the West Bank. – Cafe, Williamsburg
Our Literate Youth
NYU student: “I read the Sunday paper on Sunday–the whole thing–and it really wasn’t that bad! You should try it” Walking in Union Square
Maybe He’s a Widower?
A guy is being filmed for Fox 5 News Live. Guy: I wanna say hi to my mother-in-law and my girlfriend in the Bronx. –Midtown Overheard by: Danger
Those Wacky Mexicans
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario! –Carmine St.
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST
Copy boy: Mr. Murdoch on the line. The news editor on duty picks up the phone. News editor: Right. Right. OK…Source? No source…Right…It’s Gephardt. OK. –NY Post Offices
…And You'd Better Use Some SAT Adjectives.
Hot girl: Hmmm, that's a synecdochical headline.
Hot boyfriend: What does “synecdochical” mean?
Hot girl: Well, synecdoche is a figure of speech where a part of something is used to stand for the whole of it, or where the whole of something is used to stand for a part of it. So, in that newspaper that guy is reading, when they say, “Detroit uses bailout money,” they really are talking about the automobile industry, not all of Detroit. They're using all of Detroit to refer to a major part of Detroit's economy. Synecdoche. They use this in newspapers all the time, come to think of it.
Hot boyfriend, smiling but clearly no longer following her: Girl, look at that vocabulary! You're so smart.
Hot girl, flatly: Yes, yes, I'm very smart. Now shut up about that and tell me how pretty I am.
–6 Train
Overheard by: someone with different priorities
The Times Gets Bored With Real News
Kid: I was in the newspaper yesterday.
Nanny: You were? Why were you in the newspaper?
Kid: Daddy told the New York Times that I like the way the subway smells.
–Montague & Court
Overheard by: Rachel
The Modern-Day Equivalent Of the Bell Tolling
Girl #1: Michael Jackson is dead? Really?
Girl #2: Yeah, we read it on TMZ. They're usually pretty good about knowing when people are dead.
–The Mill
Here's Dr. Seuss to Explain
JAP: So, they're opening this new pop-up shop in SoHo…
Asian friend: Why is it when white people open a temporary store it's called a “pop-up shop,” but when any other race does, it's called a “bazaar?”
–Q15 Bus