Archive for the ‘Nice People’ Category

It Takes a Lot of Effort To Make Wednesday One-Liners Look This Good

Guy to male friend: We believe that the better you look, the more spiritual you are.

–1st St & 5th Ave., Brooklyn

Overheard by: PrairieSquid

Man collecting money for the homeless: Come on guys, I’m way too pretty to be homeless.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dara

Middle-aged African American male, with a blue NY Giants baseball cap on, and a fur coat: I’m pretty… I’m pretty… I’m pretty

–59th St Subway Station

Overheard by: nickporjr

Bum: Hey pretty! Hey pretty!
[Pretty girl coughs violently and sneezes at the same time.]
Bum
: Feel better, pretty.


–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Middle-aged, Chelsea-fit white guy on iPhone: Well, neither you nor any of your sisters were the beauty that I was…

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Sean

Middle-aged man: You know who was good-looking? Stalin, when he was younger. He was so dashing!

–104th & West End

Overheard by: communist!

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.

–M116 Bus

Overheard by: I hate the bus

Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!

–Allen & East Houston

Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.

–33rd & Broadway

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Overheard by: yearbookie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.

–South Williamsburg

Overheard by: DanielXY

Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.

–Central Park