Archive for the ‘Nipples’ Category

Wednesday's the Most Sensitive Part Of Your One-Liner

Guy to girl: I have a proprietary interest in your nipples.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Hunter (aka

Hobo coming out of cardboard box to group of blonde chicks: Run yo nipples!

–Blake St

Teenage girl: It's so fucking cold my nipples could pick up radio stations.

–Central Park

20-something Asian guy: But I know babies' nipples are so sensitive…

–Grand & Eldridge

Hobo, yelling at couple on the street: What the hell I look like to you? Huh?! I'm a gangsta! If I had three nipples and no legs, I'd still get laid! (shakes cane at them)

–41st & 8th

Overheard by: S&B at STJ

Wednesday Doesn't Know a Single One-Liner Here Tonight

Girl to friend: This party is going to be awesome! Wait. We have to stop somewhere on the way…I gotta pee before I put out tonight.

–Montrose & Graham

Dude: Do you even know what an Animal Collective Listening Party means in the rest of the country?

–Animal Collective Album Listening Party, River Room, Harlem

Overheard by: care bear stare

Girl: I think it's okay if she parties, as long as it's with a bunch of Christians.

–West 4th b/w 6th & MacDougal

Girl to friend: There's this party in the East Village. It's called "Spit." I'll tell you next time I go. It's on Fridays. But my gawd, these guys are cokeheads. I ended up with ten of them in my apartment last week.

–8th & 18th

Overheard by: Sebastian White

Chick on cell: Do parties *count* if there's nothing but necking and spanking and nipple-tweaking?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Guy: I know I'm gay, but the best part of my Bar Mitzvah was meeting the party planner.

–Barns & Noble, 8th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rijita

Wednesday's One-Liners Are Standing at Attention

Thug: Yo, man! What color are my nipples? What color are my nipples?!

–LaGuardia High School

Teen to friend: Calm yo black nipples! Calm yo black nipples!

–Union Square

Overheard by: hairy pink nipples

Girl to friends: The idea of some machine sucking on my nipples just terrifies me!

–Bathroom, NYU

Overheard by: Trying to pee in peace

Random girl: Yeah, I have like four nipples.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Nameless

Tall beautiful 30-year-old curvaceous brunette in stockings and pumps on cell: I was like: "you're preaching about non-violence and you're touching my nipple!"

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Janusz

“Bitch, You Awake?” Being the Second.

Boyfriend: Love you.
Girlfriend: Love you too.
Boyfriend: Love your rack too.
Girlfriend: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.

–82nd & 1st

Overheard by: Cocomo

Headline by: Ross

Runners-Up:
· “How the Hat-Check Girl Was Won Over…” – Earthborn

· “Low Expectations Can Be Surprisingly Rewarding…” – Sphaeron
· “Pipe Down, I Didn’t Say I Loved Your Mouth” – Daniel Patterson
· “That’s the Same Thing Your Sister Said!” – cafn8ed
· “The Deepest Conversation Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo Have Ever Had” – rudegrl


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