Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?
–116th St & Broadway
Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!
–N6 Bus
Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?
Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.
–Midtown Office
Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size
Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.
–East Village
Archive for the ‘Nose Job’ Category
Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.
Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?
–Norfolk & Houston
50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax?
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chuch
Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face!
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: kenzi
Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Alexis
Only Slightly Less Mortifying Than Living with One
Ghetto lady #1: … So they had to grow her a new nose on her arm because they said it wouldn’t live on her face.
Ghetto lady #2: What? How long it take to grow a nose on a arm?
Ghetto lady #1: That bitch gonna die with a nose on her arm.
–9th & 6th
Overheard by: Manhattman
When You’re Here, You’re Dysfunctional Family
Blonde looking in compact: I need a new nose.
Boyfriend: I need a new apartment.
Blonde, whiny: It’s always your needs! What about mine?!
Boyfriend: You just spent five thousand dollars on your fucking tits with my money!
Server waiting to take order: I’ll come back when you two are ready…
–Olive Garden, Chelsea
Wednesday One-Liners: Cha-ching!
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money? –47th & 5th Overheard by: Adam Bertocci Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money! –M14 bus Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change! –14th between 5th & University Overheard by: theNJl Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money. –Starbucks, 27th & Park Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
I Myself Just Went From Pretty Good to Pretty Bitchy
Girl #1: She was so pretty.
Girl #2: Good pretty or bitchy pretty?
Girl #1: Can you, like, recognize a nosejob when you see one?
Girl #2: Why? Are you thinking of getting one? You don’t need it.
Girl #1: No, I just wanted to go hang out someplace where people have had a lot of plastic surgery.
–B61 bus