Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.” –Post Office, Bensonhurst
Archive for the ‘Not New York’ Category
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Woman: Two retarded people would find each other. Still, they’ll make a good couple. –Burger King, Bensonhurst
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Twelve)
Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced. Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Ten)
Tourist in Vancouver: “I haven’t been able to find a post-office in Vancouver. Where are they?” Waitress: “Oh, the Canadian government sold off all the post-offices, now they just have kiosks in any pharmacy, so just go to the drug store down the street.”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Eight)
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Seven)
Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Six)
On Hastings Avenue in Vancouver, there is a restaurant called the “New York Bistro Grill.” The first and most prominent item on their menu reads: “New York Burger – baby shrimps, cream cheese, and guacamole”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Five)
Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations” Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Four)
In a hamburger joint in Vancouver: “Can I have a regular hamburger, rare, please?” Waitress: “You’re obviously not from BC. In the whole province, it is illegal to cook a hamburger in any way other than well-done.”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part 3)
Four teenagers in a convertible at a stop-sign speaking about me as I cross the street right in front of them, in Vancouver: “Hey, he looks Jewish!”