Archive for the ‘Nudity’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Call Themselves “Publicists”

Announcer dude: People, get the Audio Guide! If you don’t you’ll end up up there thinking, ‘I should have listened to that handsome, well-spoken man downstairs.’ You’ll be beating yourself for not buying the Audio Guide. And I don’t need that on my conscience.

–Empire State Building

Overheard by: George Carstocea

Daily News hawker: Sign up here for your free subscription to the Daily News! [Muttering] We’ll screw you later.

–Outside Shea Stadium

Overheard by: Mrs. Met

Guy selling comedy show tickets: Come on, have a ticket. If you don’t I’ll stalk you on your MySpace page!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Punkgrrl

Top of the Rock promoter guy: Yeah, it’s supposed to be, like, the best view or whatever of, uh, I don’t know… [Calls to fellow promoter] Yo, man, you ever been up there?

–Rockefeller Center

Flyer dude: See the naked cowboy on stage! Sucking cock!

–46th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ashley

Guy selling newspapers: New York Post here! Daily News here! [He’s ignored.] New York Post here! Daily News! [Still ignored.] George Bush wins the lottery! [Still ignored.]

–33rd & 7th

Comedy club promoter: People, you gotta come tonight, because if you don’t my boss is gonna kill me! I work for the mafia!

–Times Square

Wednesday Puts Its One-Liners on One Leg at a Time

Guy on cell: In a wig, with his pants down, watching her from his car.

–33rd St, Astoria

Overheard by: Ferna

Teen to another: Barack Obama said, "pull your pants up!"

–Broadway & 72nd St

NYU girl: I wanna do it, and I wanna do it in my pants box.

–Weinstein Hall, NYU

Border's employee to man sleeping in chair: Sir, could you please wake up? …and also zip up your pants.

–Borders

Guy on phone: Well, I guess I thought you might be kind of gay after you invited me to that "no pants" party.

–Astoria

….And Groom a Bit.

Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1, gesturing towards naked man and woman standing in doorway: Do they want us to walk through them?
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #2: Yes. Yes, I think that's the point.
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1: Well, okay. (pause) But first I'm gonna eat a mint.

–MoMA, Marina Abramovic Exhibit

Overheard by: aaron(b)

Seems He Wouldn’t Have a Problem with That

Girl: I’m just worried that she’s going to be scary. I mean, talk about Bible stories, but not the Devil, or going to hell. They’re 5 year olds.
Guy: I wouldn’t worry about that.
Girl: Just, you know, some Christians are crazy.
Guy: I’m more worried that they’ll want to be naked and she’ll be offended. –1 train Overheard by: Nadine