Archive for the ‘Nudity’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners, Just As God Made Them

Gray Line tour guide: … And then I looked up into one of these fabulous brownstone buildings and there was a naked woman. She did a dance for the entire bus. Completely naked. Eye contact and everything. That’s why I never look into windows anymore… –The Village Girl to friend: As long as they don’t know that you’re naked, it’s okay. –68th St Crazy guy: One… Two… Three… Naked! –A train Overheard by: quietly laughing to herself Man to another: In my neighborhood, once you walk past Avenue A, none of the men are wearing shirts. –47th & 10th Overheard by: MuffinPuffin Man to landlord, in Polish: There is this naked woman and naked man constantly running around the basement at night. We just can’t let this guy keep doing this. –Nassau Ave Overheard by: Izabela Excited chick on cell: I just took my shirt off! In a room full of people talking their shirts off! –Harlem Overheard by: Ladle

Yeah, She Was Mildly Hot

Chick #1: What is your middle name?
Chick #2: I don’t want to tell you.
Chick #1: Why won’t you tell me what your middle name is? I showed you a picture of me naked!
Chick #2: That is so not the same. Your naked picture is on the Internet. Anyone can see it!
Mid-30s guy two seats away: I’m sorry, but what’s the address of that website? –Bronx-bound A train Overheard by: Julia

I Knew You Loved Me!

B&T girl: I am going to ask you one more fucking time and then things between us are over. Give me one fucking cigarette! Boyfriend takes out one cigarette and throws it on the sidewalk. B&T girl: Thank you! –33rd St & Third Ave Overheard by: HelloClairice

Wednesday Drunk-Liners

Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie! –W 88th St Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick! –Metro-North Train Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine! –East Village Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand! –Poker Game, Astoria Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit! –L Train