Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category

Read My Lips, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: No I'm not bringing anything, this is not a date, it's 10 o'clock on a Friday night. I'm bringing my vagina, that's what I'm bringing. –Court St & 2nd Place Girl on cell: I mean, there's nothing obviously wrong with my vagina! –23rd & 7th Girl on bike: I feel like I've had a pencil up my vagina for 10 hours! –Hudson River Bike Path Distraught NYU student: I'm covered in vaginal cream. –NYU Dorm, Union Square Overheard by: Erica Fuld Hurried young guy on cell: Well, you can't just sniff anyone's vagina! –W 52nd b/w 9th & 10th Ave Gay on phone: But what does her vag look like? –Chelsea Overheard by: Liz

I Always Preferred Bin Laden Barbie

Older lady #1: He's a very nice guy. He looks like a terrorist, but he's so sweet.
Older lady #2, laughing: Really? Well, that's good.
Older lady #1: Yeah. He's so smart! Really bright, and really good at making you feel comfortable. I was so glad to have him helping us. But he definitely–if you look at him–he's like teddy Taliban. –Waiting Room, NYU Hospital Overheard by: Hector Hamas?

Roll Tape, Please

Kid in baggy pants: What do you mean, you’re a virgin?
Kid shooting pool: Dude, I’m totally a virgin.
Kid in baggy pants: Trust me, you’re not a virgin. –Pool hall near NYU Overheard by: DJ

Wednesday One-Liners and Tigers and Bears–Oh, My!

Young woman to another: But do you know how big a horse dick is? –5th Ave & Carroll, Park Slope Girl: I'm really tired. I'm, like, an animal activist right now. –Parking Lot, Broadway Mall Overheard by: Lysa Student: I'm not that sensitive. I can watch those videos where they like, torture the animal or whatever, and then I'll go eat it. –Cardozo Law School Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Panda? –NYU Dining Hall Columbia girl: I'd never have asked if I knew he was the one who'd killed it. But I didn't suspect him. Who'd spend their time strangling a gerbil? –Columbia University Overheard by: Who'd have thought? Guido to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog. –Penn Station Lady on speaker: If you have an animal, please do not put it through the X-ray. –LaGuardia Airport

Wednesday Undie-Liners

Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my underwear drawer. –Astor Place Overheard by: Jess Overconfident guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop. –Dorm, NYU Law Overheard by: holdingbacklaughter Little old lady on park bench to another: Well, I've been stuffing my bra now, and now I can't find my money. –Central Park West & 63rd St Overheard by: Jen Woman: My dog only eats my underwear. He doesn't eat my son's. He doesn't eat my husband's. Only mine! I wonder why. (pauses to think) Hmm… it must be that feminine smell. –E 40th St Overheard by: TMI Livid man on cell: No! You can't have your underwear back! –Chelsea

Someone Who’s Willing to Go Beyond “It’s Complicated”

NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally. –NYU Overheard by: Clook