Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay! –NYU Hayden Staircase Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it. –Hunter College Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there! –The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St Overheard by: Cassie 20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night. –Chipotle, 51st & 8th Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really. –Near Holland Tunnel Overheard by: Claire H. Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status! –6th & Ave A Overheard by: Kremilyse 30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob? –Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool

Wednesday One-Liners Get a Reltney

Hipster girl: And he's always like, "oh god, I'm so hard!" and I'm always just like, "really?" –Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU Loud passenger: I'm so horny I'd fuck a potato right now. –Metro-North Overheard by: fingerling Guy: I've had a hard-on all day! I need to polish my lid. –Hard Rock Cafe Bearded hipster to another, on blanket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a boner. –McCarren Park, Williamsburg Overheard by: kalbijim Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a boner while we're talking about Mexicans and drowning? –Williamsburg

Exactly Half

Hipster guy: And then we wandered down the street into Bed-Stuy, like into the projects, and these guys were screaming at us, like, “You in the wrong part of Brooklyn, white boys!” …but Marcus is half black!
Hipster girl: Oh, so it's not entirely ironic when he freestyles? –Hayden Residence Hall, NYU

One Liners from the Legitimate Wednesday

Student, about her play: I want the audience to enter through the vagina before they sit down. –NYU Guy to younger girl, at intermission of Spring Awakening, right after sex scene: So you had to choose this? We couldn't have gone to see The Little Mermaid? –Eugene O'Neill Theatre College student: …exactly how you'd expect a college rendition of The Vagina Monologues to go. –NYU Black guy on cell: It doesn't mean I'm gay because I'm going to see a play. (pause) It's for a class… There's nothing wrong with wanting to see a play. –Union Square Overheard by: erkala 20-something guy to friend: Picture it; Fishsticks: the musicical! –63rd St & Broadway

Sorry, Science, but Blowjobs Were Here First

Queer #1: So, whatever happened with you and the dude who looked like Bill Nye the Science Guy?
Queer #2: I gave him a ride home, and then he gave me head in his driveway.
Queer #1: Shut up!
Queer #2: I know!
Queer #1: Science rules. –NYU