Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category

Any Animal That Knows How to Use a Mud Mask Has to Have a Brain

NYU girl #1: I'm totally a vegetarian, and I thought Lucy was, until she told me that she had bacon the other day!
NYU girl #2: Oh my god! That's so terrible, that poor pig. Though I think it's okay to eat chicken. I don't really consider chicken an animal. They're too stupid to be an animal. But bacon, that's totally bitchy.

–NYU

Overheard by: Meatarian

My Second Involved a Stripper and the Emergency Room

Professor: In this court case the Kitty Kat Lounge challenged a state law demanding that dancers wear pasties and a G-string while dancing.
Queer: What is a pasty exactly?
Professor: Who here has experience with pasties?
Frat boy: They are minuscule little stickers that cover the areolae.
Professor, laughing awkwardly: I’ve encountered these before. My girlfriend, when she doesn’t want to wear a bra or whatever but doesn’t want her nipples to show, has worn these… And this was my first encounter with pasties.

–Silver Building, NYU

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!

–NYU Hayden Staircase

Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza

Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!

–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St

Overheard by: Cassie

20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.

–Chipotle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.

–Near Holland Tunnel

Overheard by: Claire H.

Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!

–6th & Ave A

Overheard by: Kremilyse

30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool