Archive for the ‘Office’ Category

C'mon a My Wednesday One-Liner!

Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.

–Office Building, W 46th St

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!

–Union Square Station

10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.

–105th & Broadway

Overheard by: Andy

Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.

–125th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: peeper

City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: E

Wednesday One-Liners Haven’t Met Most Of Their Friends

Yuppie: I don’t google enough.

–F Train, 7th Ave

Overheard by: imaginexrach

Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life!

–NYU Bus

Overheard by: Asian Kid

Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom!

–Office on 42nd & Madison

Overheard by: herspace

Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches.

–8th St & Broadway

Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Don't Hate the Wednesday One-Liner, Hate the Game

(a pigeon flies up to a rambling bike messenger)
Bike messenger
: Hey, bird. Whadda ya say? How you doing? You play baseball? What position? First base? Third? Catcher?


–47th & Madison

Ditzy teen on cell: Why can't they, like, have two footballs instead so both teams could score?

–Doctor's Office, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Professor: Did I tell you guys I'm getting into professional wrestling?

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Didn't want the details

Guy to another, screaming at the top of his lungs: It's fucking field hockey! It's a girl's sport! Why are you even on the team?! You make me sick!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Scott Jurkowski

Train conductor, announcing stop: Willets point, Shea Stadium…home of that *other* team.

–Willets Point, Queens

Overheard by: Random Asian Chick

That Went Without Saying

Guy: She did this album made up entirely of processed sex noises. It’s her and her boyfriend having sex in various sundry ways. She got mentioned in a British newspaper and then the Daily News picked it up. And now it looks like she’s going to have a record deal. Most of it is…it’s kind of German, you know? –27th Street office

Sure, on Work Release

Old lady employee: His boss hired a lawyer for him.
Young lady employee: Oh, so he’s still working?
Old lady employee: What?
Young lady employee: Are you telling me he works during the day and then he goes back to jail at night?
Old lady employee: Girl, are you sure you went to college?

–Office, 5th Ave