Archive for the ‘Office politics’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner Get Paid Under the Table

Guy drinking wine: Coming to work wasted is frowned upon, but also lovingly embraced. –Tartine, West Village Fake bag hawker to woman in suit with briefcase: Can I get a job, miss? Are you hiring, miss? –Canal St Suit: When I die, don't go to my funeral, just go to work. –33rd St &3rd Ave Crazy girl on cell: All I know is that I need a really fucking good job with no fucking drug test. –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: Sam Fez Weird guy to girl: I mean, I come home from work not feeling sexy at all. (subway car screeches) It's not exactly the most testosterone-filled job there is. (car screeches loudly again, then guy starts using hand motions) I have no idea how to get in the mood again! –6 Train Overheard by: fresca Boss to peon: And grab Mary. (pause) Gently. –Broadway

Wednesday One-Liners, As God Made Them

Guy on cell: What does you caring about me have to do with me at some club with "hypothetical" naked chicks? –42nd & Lexington Guy yelling across street to girl on phone: Tell her I waited naked on the bed all night but she never came! –Washington Square Suit to another: It's so weird because there are so many people at the office who you'd never think to picture naked… Like Marcy: you'd never picture her naked. Alex: you'd never picture him naked. Derek: I've never pictured him naked. –F Train Overheard by: EmLo Guy, to two women: I was like, "You're lying on top of me. We're naked. When does this get fun?" –Philosophy Building, Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle (girl is wearing small, tight, mini-skirt and talking to a group of boys)
Girl: If it was up to me, I wouldn't be wearing any clothes, if it weren't for gravity. –Sybil's, Liberty Ave, Queens Overheard by: Terrence 20-something girl to friend: So I chased after him, but I was naked…so how far could I go? –Brooklyn Promanade

So Much Classier to Just Hide in the Bushes

Suit #1: Dude, he’s SO strange. You know I walked passed his desk yesterday and he was researching stuff on his computer about religion. Some multicultural shit or something.
Suit #2: Woah.
Suit #1: Yeah, I know. [Pauses.] You know I bet he’s like one of those guys that dates a girl and calls her all the time and stalks her.
Suit #2: Totally. –Starbucks, 30th and Park Overheard by: Faetra

Wednesday One-Liners by Victoria

Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear. –Subway station, Times Square Overheard by: Mama Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again. –181st St Overheard by: LSB Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you. –Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work. –Library Bar, Houston & Ave A Overheard by: Rachel W. Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs! –Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear… –W 4th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Laura