Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge. –Midtown office
Brainiac: Maybe AIDS wouldn’t be such a problem in Africa if they’d stop buttfucking each other so much. –Midtown office
Girl #1: Yeah, he knows Dick Clark.
Girl #2: You mean the ex President?
Girl #1: Lol! No!
–Office, Madison Ave & 49th St
Girl #1: What kind of insurance do you have?
Girl #2: Well, Medicaid, but it just got cut off.
Girl #1: What? They tried that shit with me. But I called everyday until they reinstated that shit. Sometimes you just gotta act black. No offense, I can say that because I'm Puerto Rican.
Girl #2: (nods)
–Doctor's Office, Jackson Heights
Black kid to father: Dad, were you ever a slave?
Father: No, son.
Black kid: Was I ever a slave?
Black kid, sighing: Good.
–Doctor's Office, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Mike F.
Frumpy female office worker, hanging up phone: Yes! He just asked me out!
Ordinary female office worker: Are you excited?
Frumpy female office worker: Are you kidding? I feel just like Sadie Hawkins on Sadie Hawkins day!
–Empire St. Bldg office
Overheard by: Tom
Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.
–Battery Maritime Building
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?
–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Derek
Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.
–Metro North Railroad
Overheard by: Jessica S.
Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!
–Grand Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Angelina
30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?
Overheard by: julia
Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!
–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Charlotte
Colleague #1: There is a girl in India with four legs.
Colleague #2: She'll be happy. She'll be able to wear more shoes.
Colleague #1: She can run fast.
Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?
–116th St & Broadway
Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!
Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?
Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.
Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size
Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.
Coloring kindergartner #1: Some animals have poison in them.
Coloring kindergartner #2, looking worried: Like kittens?
–Community Center Office