Old Man: You put your hands on me again, I’ll cut your fucking throat. –Post Office, Bensonhurst
Old lady (looking directly at Hispanic woman and her baby): They don’t speak English and they don’t wanna learn. They just want pay from America. They hate our guts.
[to baby]: Give your Mommy a kiss! –B6 Bus, Brooklyn
Old Woman: Oh, I just feel so gassy. I’ve got so much gas. –Public Library, Bensonhurst
An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ” She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me” To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
Old Woman: You’re not making fun of my hat, are you? Better not be. Lots of flowers on this hat, it’s a fine hat. I love this hat. Your problem is, you got no love in you. Not for hats, not for nothing. –McDonalds, St. Mark’s Place
An old woman is drumming up contributions for the SPCA.
Young Man: Good luck!
Old Woman: We don’t need luck, we need cooperation. Does Bush say good luck to the soldiers? No, he just sends in more troops! Come on! Don’t be a phony. –Kinko’s, 20th St. and 6th Ave. Overheard by: Lucian Piane
The train coming from New Jersey arrives in New York. An Elderly Italian man turns to his friends and says: Aah, back to civilization! –Penn Station Overheard by: Kaitlen
Young man in a cafe in Williamsburg: “So, what do you do?”
Older man: “I’m an artist–and one of my works is in the Whitney.” – Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Old man: Well, it’s colder out there than a mother-in-law’s kiss. –Snack Taverna, Bedford St. Overheard by: Aria Sloss
An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog? –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Jonathan