Old Man: You put your hands on me again, I’ll cut your fucking throat. –Post Office, Bensonhurst
Old lady (looking directly at Hispanic woman and her baby): They don’t speak English and they don’t wanna learn. They just want pay from America. They hate our guts.
[to baby]: Give your Mommy a kiss! –B6 Bus, Brooklyn
Old Woman: Oh, I just feel so gassy. I’ve got so much gas. –Public Library, Bensonhurst
An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ” She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me” To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
Girl getting out of the car: I wish I had a talent other than parallel parking… –Park Slope An old man, bent over and hobbling with his cane, says apropos of nothing: I’ve got to make a list. –7th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Vaughn
Old Woman #1: …I like that too. You know what’s good? I like to eat that pissghetti.
Old Woman #2: Yeah, that stuff is good.
Old Woman #1: But they should give it a better name. –Bronx Supreme Court building Overheard by: The Evil Sneeze
Woman, 50s: I eat Cheerios every morning.
Man, 50s: Cheerios are good for your heart. –Popeye’s, Bay Ridge
Young man in a cafe in Williamsburg: “So, what do you do?”
Older man: “I’m an artist–and one of my works is in the Whitney.” – Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
The cashier scans an old lady’s ricotta cheese.
Cashier: Why didn’t you get the bigger one?
Old Lady: ‘Cause I’ll eat it all! This way I have a limit. –Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst