Archive for the ‘Old People’ Category

Fun at the Post Office

A young man apparently cuts the line at the PO. Old Italian: Hey, there’s a line here buddy.
Young guy: I waited already, I got money orders.
Old Italian: I didn’t see you anywhere near the line.
Young guy: I got money orders before and now I’m mailing them.
Old Italian: We’ve all got orders. Geez, no one wants to wait on line any more. And now the guy’s serving him.
Young guy: Shut up.
Old Italian: Ah, get lost, you idiot. If I was five years younger I would put you up against the wall.
Postal Worker: Next.
Old Italian: How much to send this express mail?
Postal Worker: $13.65.
Old Italian: Maron. –Bensonhurst

It’s a Very Trenchcoat Hannukah

Old Lady: Those kids in Columbine used to bully kids themselves. I saw an interview with one. You think the parents didn’t know something was going on, the way they used to dress up like Hitler?
Black Nurse: Really?
Old Lady: One of them was half-Jewish, too!
Black Nurse: That don’t make sense.
Old Lady: They think they’re hot stuff. They don’t care. –W Train

Don’t Go Past the Sale

Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too. –Avery Fischer Hall Overheard by: Heather