Old Man: You put your hands on me again, I’ll cut your fucking throat. –Post Office, Bensonhurst
Old lady (looking directly at Hispanic woman and her baby): They don’t speak English and they don’t wanna learn. They just want pay from America. They hate our guts.
[to baby]: Give your Mommy a kiss! –B6 Bus, Brooklyn
Old Woman: Oh, I just feel so gassy. I’ve got so much gas. –Public Library, Bensonhurst
An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ” She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me” To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too. –Avery Fischer Hall Overheard by: Heather
Very old woman (to hobo): …I already told you! If I had any money, you think I’d be walking out here in this? –2nd Ave. & 16th St. Overheard by: garrett
Older gentlemen: How much did this boat cost?
Younger guy: 1.6 billion dollars. It’s the only boat of its kind.
Older gentlemen: Well that ain’t for us; we think it’s for us but it’s for the tourists… –The Guy Molinari Overheard by: Lou
Businesswoman on cell: If you told me she was 75 or 76, I’d say she looks fabulous. If you told me she was 73, I’d say she isn’t aging well at all. –M101 bus
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station
Skinny blond girl: So, you can do my friend for a hundred dollars.
Larger brunette: Yeah, you can have me anyway you like.
Older man: Anyway I like?
Skinny blond girl: Yeah.
Older man: How about on credit?
Overheard by: MYSTI