Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche
Girl on cell: Mom, of course I’m not going to be there on Monday. It’s Columbus Day. Co-lum-bus. It’s a holiday. –Broadway & 13th Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit! –Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Where: Diner in Williamsburg Yuppie on Cell Phone: You should come down! He’s giving a concert tonight at Luxx.
Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge. –Midtown office
Hispanic girl on cell: I don’t care what shoes you’re wearing, you’re still Puerto Rican! –92nd & Broadway Woman: When a girl tells a guy she likes his shoes, that means she wants to fuck him. –Delancey St.
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Guy into cell: Uh huh, he knows it’s an 8-track, right? He knows how to work with one of those?…Now listen. I want to make this crystal clear. I want to make sure that he fully understands what I’m about to say. There is to be no sucking dick before studio time. Does he understand this? –8th St. & Greene Overheard by: PSL
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone: “I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”