A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone: “I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Businesswoman on cell: If you told me she was 75 or 76, I’d say she looks fabulous. If you told me she was 73, I’d say she isn’t aging well at all. –M101 bus
Guy on cell: …so I say to her, “Why the hell do you have a cell phone if you don’t use it?”. God, my brother is an asshole and my girlfriend is a moron! –Clinton Street Overheard by: nappytee
Chatty woman: There were two lesbians, or transsexuals, or whatever you call it…
–26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Crazy shouting hobo: Lesbians are rapists! Lesbians are rapists! You stick your tongue in a pussy, you're a rapist! Rapist lesbians! Lesbians are rapists!
Woman on cell: Of course I thought she was a lesbian! She walked like a dude!
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Middle aged woman to male on train, in one breath: Scientists say that in 2012 the sun will line up with the milky way and change the axle on the earth and you know it is hard to be a black lesbian cause most of these women just get tired of men and have sex with a woman but that doesn't mean they are bisexual just because they have sex with men and women and they ain't really lesbians they just think they are cause they have sex with women…
Overheard by: thomas
Normal-looking girl to girlfriends: Do you know how many woman hit on me when I was in San Francisco?
–Bedford & 6th
Man on street: Does anybody need a lesbian lover? Because I'll get a sex change…
–79th St & Broadway
Black man in suit and expensive loafers, on cell: Bring me the box, unopened. (cackles) Bring it to me.
Overheard by: Samantha
Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!
Overheard by: Katie
Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.
–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St
Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?
–3rd & 16th
Overheard by: Joe & Eliz
Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman on cell: You did what? No. No, the key is with the handcuffs.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: argonaut
Neighbor heard through thin dorm wall: Yeahhhhh, I'm a bad boy. You wanna spank me?
NYU girl to friend: I think Jesus wore latex.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Mimi
Hippie woman on cell: Okay, why don't you just untie each other and come on down so we can talk about this?
–50th St & Park Ave
Woman on cell: I would totally bind my feet for a good pair of shoes if they didn't have them in my size.
Passing hobo to girl with violin case: You have very nice boots… for a musician.
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: cisium
Lady on cell: Go to the bathroom? Put our shoes on? On my god!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk woman: I've been wearing high heels so long, my uterus is tilted!
Overheard by: Best line I heard all night
Woman complaining on phone: He's wearing high-heels, and it's raining!
–2nd Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: Thommy Tuff Nutz
Hipster on cell: So, are you gonna pee on the subway or hold it?
Future subway peeer: (inaudible response)
Hipster on cell: Yeah, dude, I do it all the time. Just do your thing in the corner, open the side door, an' let it slosh out when you're movin' between stations. Dude, even women do it. Totally a-okay!
–67th St & Columbus
Overheard by: kjirsten johnson
Man to woman on lunch date: Pussy makes the world go round. When you're 85, dyin', you don't want to regret it if you never got to stick your head up there, or whatever. You wanna die sated.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Christine
Man, as two women approach: Vagiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaa!
Overheard by: Joe
Hipster on cell: I don't even know you! I do not want to see your vagina.
–Park Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Sophia
Suit on cell: I'm gonna cut off her cunt and make her wear it as a hat!
Teenager to friend: That girl has a Stargate vagina. You put it in and, bam, a kid pops out!
–Catherine St & Madison St
Girl at speed dating event: …like my vagina!
–Watering Hole, E 19th St