Boy: Yo, that’s an oxymoron. That’s like saying ‘Peter picked a pail of pickles’ and he’s a vegetarian. –Q111 bus, Jamaica Ave
Russian girl #1: Stop calling me that!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong?
Russian girl #1: She keeps on calling me Natasha!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong with that?
Russian girl #1: Because that’s not my name! –B82 Bus
Russian girl #1: You’re not in my Russian class.
Russian girl #2: Oh, I’m sorry. You have advanced Russian.
Russian girl #1: Everything I have is advanced.
Russian girl #2: Shut up. –B82 Bus
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee. –Midtown office
Schoolgirl: I’m the only one at school that wears wild stockings. –M79 Bus Overheard by: Fred Weiner
Old lady (looking directly at Hispanic woman and her baby): They don’t speak English and they don’t wanna learn. They just want pay from America. They hate our guts.
[to baby]: Give your Mommy a kiss! –B6 Bus, Brooklyn
Fat Chick: Thank God. Cheryl! It’s the Golden Arches! –Bus Entering Port Authority
Businesswoman on cell: If you told me she was 75 or 76, I’d say she looks fabulous. If you told me she was 73, I’d say she isn’t aging well at all. –M101 bus
Middle-aged suit to another: You definitely don't want to be on the streets with three miniature Dachshunds on the loose.
–46th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: alexander
Guy at dinner with friends: No, slapping her ass isn't perverted, it's just inappropriate. Perverted would be jerking off onto my dog's face or some shit.
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Matt
White gay man to another: Every time I see a dog chained to a parking meter and the owner is like in the store, it makes me want to call the NAACP.
Overheard by: HarlemAllDay
Ghetto woman on cell: A Maltese dog. A Maltese! (pause) One of them little dogs that don't never grow.
–27th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
Flamboyant gay man to couple pushing bulldog in stroller: Oh my god! Your dog ate your baby!
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy to girl in subway: I was your boyfriend in third grade, don't you remember? You left me for Tyrone because he had the 64-pack of crayons.
–BX 41 Bus
Overheard by: Stacey V
Slutty hipster on cell: Why do you keep saying "Jew" boyfriend?
–Bowery & 4th
Girl to friend: Wait, do you mean my boyfriends in general, or just my Jewish boyfriends?
–David's 24-Hour Bakery
Overheard by: Caroline
Male economics professor: You get your first boyfriend, and your satisfaction is huge. But then, you get three more boyfriends. Have any of you experienced having four boyfriends? Sometimes, they give you a headache.