Archive for the ‘On the Bus’ Category

Wednesdsay Caniners

Middle-aged suit to another: You definitely don't want to be on the streets with three miniature Dachshunds on the loose.

–46th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: alexander

Guy at dinner with friends: No, slapping her ass isn't perverted, it's just inappropriate. Perverted would be jerking off onto my dog's face or some shit.

–23rd & 10th

Overheard by: Matt

White gay man to another: Every time I see a dog chained to a parking meter and the owner is like in the store, it makes me want to call the NAACP.

–M7 Bus

Overheard by: HarlemAllDay

Ghetto woman on cell: A Maltese dog. A Maltese! (pause) One of them little dogs that don't never grow.

–27th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Katherine

Flamboyant gay man to couple pushing bulldog in stroller: Oh my god! Your dog ate your baby!

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Sarah

Frau Blücher: He Vass My Vednesday Vun-Liner!

Guy to girl in subway: I was your boyfriend in third grade, don't you remember? You left me for Tyrone because he had the 64-pack of crayons.

–BX 41 Bus

Overheard by: Stacey V

Slutty hipster on cell: Why do you keep saying "Jew" boyfriend?

–Bowery & 4th

Girl to friend: Wait, do you mean my boyfriends in general, or just my Jewish boyfriends?

–David's 24-Hour Bakery

Overheard by: Caroline

Male economics professor: You get your first boyfriend, and your satisfaction is huge. But then, you get three more boyfriends. Have any of you experienced having four boyfriends? Sometimes, they give you a headache.

–Pratt Institute

Wednesday Tiny-One-Liners

Girl to boyfriend: Two years ago I saw your penis under a bright blue light. And it was small.

–Penn Station

Black guy to black friend: Her father does not want his daughter marrying someone from another race. What, is he scared that the kid will come out black and have a big nose? I'll tell you one thing–he'll have a big dick.

–Bowery & 1st St

Overheard by: Zach B

Man to girl beside him: Mine isn't that big. But it's big enough for what I need it for.

–6th Ave & 9th St

Girl to friend: He had a big penis. It scared me.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: s0uthard

Young teenage boy to another: You're telling me you have an 8.5 inch dick and you don't touch it?

–M21 Bus

Overheard by: zaarah