Jerk: I love making fun of the German. I love making fun of the French, too. I’m an equal opportunity destroyer. –D Train
Archive for the ‘On the Subway’ Category
The Virtue of Selfishness
Pastry Shop Worker: Is anyone willing to give up their seat for a girl that has to stand on her feet all day?
Train Riders: [SILENCE]
Pastry Shop Worker: Come on, all you guys just go sit in front of your computers every day, how damn hard is that? I have to make shit for people and stand on my feet all day. You people are so selfish!
–6 Train
What About Grandma?
Mom: Don’t ever disrespect your mother! You can always disrespect your father. All what your father did was to shoot the sperm. Your mother is the one who brought you out to this world. No matter what happens, don’t ever disrespect your mother! –D Train
Kids Say the Stupidest Things
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train
CASE CLASED
Girl: When I was a kid my parents bought me everything I wanted.
Guy: Well yeah, you were really spoiled.
Girl: No, I was highly entertained.
Guy: You were spoiled. You got everything, right?
Girl: Yeah…
Guy: So you were spoiled.
Girl: You don’t understand. I didn’t cry or whine. My parents just bought me everything.
–N Train
…My Dad, too.
Two boys, both about 10, are thoroughly engrossed in their Game Boys.
First boy: My mother’s a lesbian.
Second boy: So is mine.
–#1 Train
Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
Two women are seated across from each other on the train. One has a long object in a soft-sided container.
First woman: Is that a bassoon?
Second woman: No. It’s a sword.
–C Train
And frankly, she makes a good case
20-something (to boyfriend): Janet said that no boyfriends were invited to her party. But she then made exceptions, for different reasons, for the boyfriends of every other girl who is invited to the party who has a boyfriend. Except for you. So I’m worried that she may not like you. –F train
“C” You Then!
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer. –R train Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
“…And then she took my shanks away!”
Meathead: I want to get the Jesus fish tattooed on my back with the Greek letters in it. But my Mom even has a problem with that! –D train