Archive for the ‘On the Subway’ Category

Those Wacky Homeless

Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

To Confuse Assassins

Confused little boy looking at dozens of Santas in Santacon: I thought there is only one Santa Claus.
Mother: Those are Santa’s helpers. Santa can’t do everything by himself.
Little boy: But why are they dressed like Santa?
Mother, exasperated: I don’t know. –3 train, Times Square Overheard by: Eric Kuo

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Wednesday One-Liners Are Here, They’re Queer, They’re Not Going Anywhere

Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends. –Union Square Overheard by: Adam Bozarth Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend. –R train Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians. –53rd & 5th Overheard by: Kaleena Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff. –26th & 1st Overheard by: Charles Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here. –The Hangar, Christopher St Overheard by: TK Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay? –Century 21 Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay. –Uptown 1 train

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

I Didn’t Do All of This Barely Legal Porn for You to Squander It on Food

Catholic schoolgirl: This bitch said she didn’t go to the bank! She said last week she was going to pay me and didn’t — mind you, I lent her the money a month ago. This bitch got a gambling problem.
Catholic schoolboy: Damn.
Catholic schoolgirl: Watch — next time I’ma be like, ‘Mom I want my money.’ –6 train Overheard by: Frais

Republished by Blog Post Promoter