Archive for the ‘On the Subway’ Category

Some Urban Legends Are More Plausible Than Others

Woman #1: I heard this train fell into the river one time. Is that true?
Woman #2: I dunno. I don’t see how it could. Maybe it could fall off to the side or something, but straight down? How would it get off the tracks?
Woman #1: I heard it fell into the river like nine years ago. Somebody told me that when I was in Miami. –J train, en route via Williamsburg Bridge

Get This Man a TV Show!

Crazy: So I had to get fillings in all of my teeth.
Passenger: Uh huh.
Crazy: But I figured, why let them do that to me after they drilled holes in my brain, ya know?
Passenger: Sure.
Crazy: But I figured, might as well! Although if they were going to fill my teeth, I’d want them to use jelly.
Passenger: Yep.
Crazy: But the guy at the counter said they were out of jelly. So I got a blueberry muffin.

–R train

Overheard by: Johnny Shizzle

By Any Other Name

A drunk guy picks up an abandoned bouquet of roses. Lush: 74. 1980. 84. Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan. George Bush. Bill Clinton. These roses should go to a sweetheart. I have no sweetheart. Not now. But they’ll get to a sweetheart. They’ve been neglected. Put them in some water, they’ll come back to life. New York is something else, right? –D Train