A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them. Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! –L Train Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care. The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog. Woman: That was weird. –V Train
Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really? –6 Train Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Black Kid #1: Yo nigga, how long are we taking this train up? Yo dumb nigga, answer me.
Black Kid #2: Yo what?
Black Kid #1: How long are we taking this train up for?
Black Kid #2: I don’t know.
Black Kid #1: Niggers are dumb anyway. –F Train
Lesbian #1: The G train always takes so long between stops, especially since it’s not going in a tunnel.
Lesbian #2: But it does go through a tunnel.
Lesbian #1: Yeah, but I mean a tunnel under water.
Lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, okay, it’s not going under water.
Lesbian #1: I always wondered how they make those tunnels.
Lesbian #2: They have one of those machines, that goes in circles.
Lesbian #1: Oh, okay…
Lesbian #2: You know, the one that goes in circles really quickly?
Lesbian #1: Yeah… [Pause] But when they build the tunnel in the water, does it go in the water, or under the water?
Lesbian #2: Under the water.
Lesbian #1: Oh, right. –G train
Chick #1: So did you call him?
Chick #2: Nah.
Chick #1: Why not?
Chick #2: He literally looks like an old turtle. –D Train
Jerk: I love making fun of the German. I love making fun of the French, too. I’m an equal opportunity destroyer. –D Train
Pastry Shop Worker: Is anyone willing to give up their seat for a girl that has to stand on her feet all day?
Train Riders: [SILENCE]
Pastry Shop Worker: Come on, all you guys just go sit in front of your computers every day, how damn hard is that? I have to make shit for people and stand on my feet all day. You people are so selfish! –6 Train
Mom: Don’t ever disrespect your mother! You can always disrespect your father. All what your father did was to shoot the sperm. Your mother is the one who brought you out to this world. No matter what happens, don’t ever disrespect your mother! –D Train
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train