Girl: She’s a lesbian. Why are you trying to find an excuse that she’s not a lesbian? That’s very rude. –W Train
Archive for the ‘One-liners’ Category
And By ‘Remember’ I Mean ‘Imagine’
A protestor holds a banner reading “Stop the Police State” and is wearing a t-shirt that says the same. He turns to the policeman standing next to him. Protestor: Do you remember how civilians stopped tanks in Tiannamen Square in 1989? That would NEVER happen here–tanks don’t stop for people here. –Union Square
Another One Off the Friends List
Angry Girl: And she wrote it on her Live Journal! –14th St. & 1st Overheard by: Tibbie X
Someone Please Punch Her
Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you! –Art Gallery, SoHo Overheard by: Tibbie X
Maybe We’ll Type Hamlet
Yuppie: We shouldn’t be using our brains to simulate monkeys. –Broadway & 72nd
The Worst Pick-up Line Ever
Wannabe Player: It is a pleasure to have the honor of being in your company. –Halloween Party, Greenwich Village
…Especially for the Celibate.
Young Woman: The thing I like about New York is that going out doesn’t have to involve drinking. –Williamsburg Cafe
And I Don’t Mean His Voice
Opera Fan: Well the best thing about it is, he’s the closest thing we have to a castrato today. –UES
Not Literally, I Hope
Guy: We’re all stuck in a loop of bullshit. –Odessa, Ave. A
Too Bad They Don’t Give You Poison, Too
Human Leech: Oh, what you have to do is calculate your monthly income–and make sure you include in that the amount of money that your parents give you every month. –Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg