Gangster into cell: Hold your hand up like a antenna, and maybe your budget-ass phone would work. –E 5th & 2nd Ave
50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Funky Monkey
Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!
–2nd Ave & 9th
Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!
Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?
Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!
–Babies"R"Us, Union Square
Overheard by: miziz
Matt Dillon: This theatre has awful feng shui. –Union Square Regal Cinemas
White guy on cell: Look, he was tried by a jury of his peers, they were all white, and they let him off. –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: riptorn
Suit on cell: And three girls we know will be there. They're all hideous. But at least they're girls.
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: Heinz
Man in suit: The building is surrounded by outside. Right before you go in and when you come out, you are outside!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Suit whining on cell: Aw, come on! I wanna be on top this time!
Overheard by: Zee
Suit: The only time I wore socks last year was during my swearing in.
–Maiden & William
Suit: You know, we should probably just send a company-wide email in the morning: "hey guys, we're fucked."
Overheard by: Tamcakes
Queer: It was, like, 8:30 in the morning and my colon called and said it needed a filling. –Christopher Street Pier Overheard by: Fourth Axiom
Man: With this many books you are almost certain to make a mistake in your choice. –The Strand Overheard by: Jill A.
Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up. –4 train Overheard by: Leora Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that. –Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel. –Broadway & 104th
Suit: All right, here’s my analysis. We are going to take Steve and put him in the middle of Times Square and set him on fire. –Nassau & Wall
Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months!
–E 9th St & University Place
Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012
Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl.
Overheard by: office peon
Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby!
–Gee Whiz, Tribeca
Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage!
–Uptown 2 Train
Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments.
–96th & Broadway