Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit! –Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Archive for the ‘One-liners’ Category
How Profound…ly Stupid
Idiot, 50s: That’s the one argument against capital punishment that cannot be refuted. If you do it, someone is dead. –Westway Diner, 9th Ave
Torture Ain’t What It Used to Be
Marine: Dodgeball is something that they would show me in a POW camp! I couldn’t stomach it. –Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
OverheardInNewYork Meets OverheardInTheOffice
Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge. –Midtown office
Wednesday One-liners
Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch. –DtUt, LES Overheard by: e. glass HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars. –Columbus Circle
Et Tu, Croutons?
HS Kid: One of my best friends is named Caesar actually…ha ha, actually he hates salad. –L Train Overheard by: Greg Rutter
If Not Dick, Then Dictionaries
Woman: If I don’t find a guy I want to date within the next year, then I’m going back to school. –B3 Restaurant, Avenue B Overheard by: Laura Walker
FYI: They Didn’t Get Any
Player: Nah, I don’t really think I’m God. More like one of his disciples. –Coffee Shop, Union Square Overheard by: Ashley
Welcome to NY; Hurry the Hell Up
Woman: So I asked for a slice with mushrooms, and the girl’s like ‘Well, can you wait?’, and I’m like ‘This is New York! No, I can’t wait!’ –Association of Graphic Communications, 7th Avenue
Wednesday One-liners
Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart. –Broadway & Waverly Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne. –Midtown Office