Bachelor: I’m going to find out where all the hookers are, and I’m going to buy that. –2nd Ave & 5th St.
Perceptive woman: Anytime you overhear people, if you only hear a second of what they say, it’s always completely stupid.
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Mother to preschool-aged child: That's the New York Stock Exchange. That's where we lose all our money.
Overheard by: Angel
Man to four-shoe-pair-buying wife: It's people like you who confuse the economists.
Toll booth operator to chick in car during rush hour: So, what's your take on the economy these days?
Young dudes, watching suits take Queens train at 9 am: Oooh! They got fired.
Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!
Overheard by: Anna
Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.
–Troy Ave & Park Place
Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: j
Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!
–Broadway & 54th St
Overheard by: Loren
Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Robin
Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?
Fat chick to cute friend's blind date: So, wait, is Jean Garafolo a man or a woman?
Overheard by: Becka Dash
20-something blonde girl: Is there an English word for "quesadilla"?
Checkout lady, pausing with a container of hummus after scanning it: Lots of people buy this stuff…what is it?
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Woman entering RadioShack: Excuse me, do you have radios?
–RadioShack, 72nd & Broadway
B9 bus driver to passengers: Make a left here?
Overheard by: VeganBeauty
Man on cell: …well, congratulations! Or should I just say, “oy veh”! –Midtown lobby
Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.
Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?
Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!
–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kathcom
Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!
–Downtown 6 Train
Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.
–Downtown 6 train
Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!
Overheard by: J. Ra
Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.
Overheard by: Edan
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
–In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
Overheard by: Celia
Little boy: Mom, can I download you? –Barnes & Noble, Astor Place