Asian yuppie: Now I don’t have to be possessive anymore. Instead, I rely on Jesus. –Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge. –Midtown office
Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch. –DtUt, LES Overheard by: e. glass HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars. –Columbus Circle
HS Kid: One of my best friends is named Caesar actually…ha ha, actually he hates salad. –L Train Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Playa on cell: I know there will. That’s why I’m not bringin’ my shortie. You don’t bring sand to the beach, playa. Huh-huh. –Stanton + Forsythe, LES Overheard by: Cityrag.com (Hi, Buddy!)
Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me! –La Lanterna
Chick: I get in the cab and in five seconds Billy’s got his hands and nose pressed against the glass. And I’m like, stop that! That’s not funny. They’ll think we’re fucking tourists. They’ll take us like the longest fucking way from here. They think we’re fucking tourists. You are not excited by the Brooklyn Bridge! Or the Statue of Liberty! –Lafayette St.
A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them. Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! –L Train Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
Bachelor: I’m going to find out where all the hookers are, and I’m going to buy that. –2nd Ave & 5th St.
German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City? –Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Christopher