Tragically, the LP Died

Customer: Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing, “The Girl from Emphysema?” –Times Square

…If Not, Can I?

Guy: Has anyone ever accidentally dated you and your sister at the same time? –Diner, 22nd and 9th Overheard by: Greg Rutter

The Band Assumed As Much

Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry! –Opaline, Ave. A

That Is Happy!

Hobo: Damn, that nigga be happier than a faggot in a bag of dick. –125th & Lexington

That’s Not Saying Much

Hipster: Jesus! This place is worse than Austin seven years ago! –Bedford St. Station, Williamsburg Overheard by: K.

I Do Envy the Unlimited Sick Leave

Garbageman: They all wanna fucking be like us. –LES Overheard by: Justin Sheckler

Maybe He’s Talking Physics

Suit: We’re really quite busy, actually. The lack of work hasn’t really affected the amount of work. –9th Ave. Overheard by: Brad Wilson

Bullwinkle Ate My Family

Chick: Yeah, deers aren’t that bad. You’re in trouble if you hit a cow, though. And even worse would be a moose, because if you don’t kill it it’s gonna kill you! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Danger!!!!

…or a Metrocard

Girl: The party is out in Brooklyn? Are you kidding me? I swear you need a passport to get out there. –UES

Don’t Worry, It Didn’t Notice

Chick: Oh my God! I forgot I was in New York! –Astor Place