Woman: …and he wanted to break up with me so badly, he was like,
“Here, I’ll buy you an apartment!”
–Central Park sailboat pond
Overheard by: Sarahvb
Teen chick: I wouldn’t want to get married because it takes so long to get a divorce!
Russian lady: Ya…my mother was lucky. Not many women divorce lawyers.
Lady: Come on, since my fucking boyfriend is a fucking crack head, we are fucking gonna pick up some guys tonight.
Overheard by: Julia Wright
Girl: I’m getting kind of tired of him. He used to be the kind of guy you could go out with and never have to talk.
Guy on cell: …so I can fuck her, but I can’t marry her. See she’s Orthodox, but not Orthodox enough.
–Duane Reade, 51st & 3rd
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Chick on cell: Honey, your boyfriend isn’t a boyfriend. He’s, like, a boyfriend-substitute…He’s, like, the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter of boyfriends.
Overheard by: djlindee