Archive for the ‘Only in New York’ Category

Non-Recyclable Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Please throw away your newspapers and garbage in the trash cans on station platforms and know that the trash cans can only hold two human bodies at a time.

–LIRR

New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of papers to passerby) Thanks, brother. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.

–40th & 6th

Carriage driver to horse: You see that chestnut? That's called "Eurotrash."

–Central Park South

Overheard by: Andy

Giant old man to screaming and jumping children: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.

–Madison & Nostrand, Brooklyn

Overheard by: g

Conductor: Please place anyone who has become garbage en route in the appropriate receptacle.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jess

Woman walking down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage nonchalantly, keeps walking)

–W 19th

The Ugly Business of Wednesday One-Liners

Agitated papi: I love him like a brother, but he a fuckin’ inconsiderate, ungrateful, selfish bastard! And he got a ugly baby!

–14th & University

Overheard by: Manhattman


Young Kid
: New York is ugly!


–JFK

Overheard by: Latoya Siratana


Wise teen girl
: That’s not giving up on him. That’s letting him fuck uglier girls.


–Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: walking the bridge


Giggling little girl in stroller
: I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly…!


–Downtown R train


Older woman to complete stranger
: You should really stop eating that crap because it’s going to make you uglier than you already are!


–Fairway, W 73rd St

Overheard by: just trying to buy my groceries…


B&T guy
: As I was saying, just ’cause you’re ugly, don’t mean you’re smart.


–Lower East Side