Archive for the ‘Orgasm’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Graduate Magna Cum Laude

Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Harmony Davis Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm! –W 72nd S, Record Store Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way… Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms. –West Village Overheard by: Andy & Nick Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock. –Astor Place Overheard by: sofia Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger! –Bar, Fulton St Overheard by: Izzy

Wednesday One-Liners Burp the Worm

Teen girl: If you want to lose weight, watch a lot of porn. I'm serious, if you watch porn, you won't have to eat for hours. Oh, and masturbating burns a lot of calories, too. –Brooklyn Very upset drunk hobo, after conductor announces last stop: Your kickin' all these people out to wait for the next train, just so you can jerk off? –Bowling Green Station Street dancer: Everyone on earth was born as a result of an orgasm. Everyone masturbates. And if they say they don't, they're lying. Even the Pope masturbates! –Union Square Irish dude, throwing tea to the ground: It's not right, man! Asshole masturbated in my tea! –Outside Starbucks Teen thug: I wanna pleasure myself while writing an essay, what's the problem with that? –Q Train Overheard by: Robert G.

Wednesday One-Liners Adjust Their Tiaras

JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer. –Spot’s Café JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies! –Hunter College Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine. –University & 12th JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion! –17th & 6th NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight! –Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm Overheard by: Maya G. Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time. –1 Train Overheard by: Ponine

Like Snowflakes, No Two Wednesday One-Liners Are Identical

Loud chick to male companion: And she sings when she orgasms! Like, "a-a-a-a-aaaah!" and "e-e-e-e-eeeeeee!" –Downtown 1 Train Overheard by: Ladle Man outside Starbucks: Dude! I gave Sharon an orgasm over the phone last night. (laughs) –Starbucks, 14th St Overheard by: Elizabel Subway musician: Y'all better be good 'cause Santa Claus only comes once a year. But that's between him and Mrs. Claus. –W 4th St Subway Platform Young man on cell: It looks like a 42-inch orgasm. –Posman Books, Grand Central Terminal Overheard by: ant Hot chick to another: You're like the Mother Teresa of orgasms! –1020 Bar, 110th & Broadway Overheard by: Chuck Bass

Multiple Wednesday One-Liners

Ghetto college kid: God put me on this Earth to make sure every woman cums! –Brooklyn-bound B train Overheard by: Not coming Man to friend: Being a vet involves more than just having orgasms at animal shows with puppies. –10th & 3rd Overheard by: Becky Queer on cell: Yeah, so, I’m on my computer surfing the Internet last night and my roommate walks over and just cums in my face… Yeah, no, it was totally random. –14th & 6th Chick on cell: If I cum while eating, you can bet you’ll get a text! –Harlem Overheard by: Hott Bi Luvr Senile lady with cane, to no one: All you girls think about is orgasms. –15th & 5th Overheard by: Morgan Professor, pointing at student: … And we all know that Kyle* gets off on electronic media. –NYU Geek: Every time Darwin mentions the natural economy, I orgasm. –Columbia University

I'm Starting to Care That the Girl Has an Orgasm

Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Bruce Lee