Archive for the ‘Orgasm’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Watch Bruce Jenner's Colonoscopy on YouTube

Funny-looking guy with crazy goatee & glasses to the sales assistant by the table full of butt plugs: I'm friendly with this woman… She likes things in her ass. –Babeland, Lower East Side Overheard by: Lara Girl: It felt so good. He then stuck his finger up my ass. Just as I was about to say "No! No!" I came. Ugh, I swear my life is a joke… A joke! –Murray St & Greenwich Overheard by: James Guy talking way too loudly on cell: Man, I just lay her down and say, "baby, you put yo' tongue in daddy's ass! –W 3rd & MacDougal Overheard by: Mathieu Guy on cell: Cus he'd already been to the emergency room, 'cus he stuck a shampoo bottle up his ass. –L Train Thug to girl in catsuit costume walking by: Man, I'd eat yesterday's breakfast out of that ass! –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Ed

Wednesday One-Liners Didn't Mean It Like That

Mother to two-year old son: Zachary, I am not continuing this discussion with you all day long! If you don't like what's in your mouth, just spit it out! –Dunkin' Donuts Nerdy Jewish Barnard girl on cell: I can just imagine it in my mouth, the taste of it. –116th St & Broadway Overheard by: Sully Young boy running with soaked t-shirt: I need to be squirted! Somebody has to squirt me! –89th St Father to young daughter: Want me to squirt it in your mouth? –Astoria Overheard by: Mark Foxy Fox news producer to another: I know you wanted something hard, so I slipped you Shively! –Starbucks

Ooo, or the Law and Order Sound!

Hot 20-something: I can't believe that the last time we had sex, when you orgasmed you were like “ooooh, ooooooh, oooooooh!” From now on, I'm gonna start making some funny noises myself.
Hot 30-something: Oh yeah?
Hot 20-something: Yeah, from now on, when you're like “ooooh,” I'm gonna be like “moo!” or maybe “meow!” –R Train Overheard by: Jackie

And Please, No Orientalism on the Way

Hot Asian chick to boyfriend, about former boyfriend: He actually told me he liked fucking me because of my “almond eyes.”
Boyfriend: Where do you find these guys?
Hot Asian chick: I know, right?
Boyfriend: I like fucking you because you come at least once a minute.
Hot Asian chick: Take me home now! –8th & Broadway Overheard by: …can i borrow her