Archive for the ‘Orgasm’ Category

The Freak at the Next Table (A NYC Short Story)

Woman: Our biggest problem with sex was that he came too fast, because he was so into me. So now he uses desensitizing condoms, and that works a lot better, especially because it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm with him. Woman: I was really anxious, so I went to my GP and she prescribed Klonopin. That completely took my anxiety away, but then my doctor said that she didn’t feel that that was a good long-term drug. I guess I agree with that. I did take one Klonopin on the plane yesterday, but that was okay because it was just a recreational Klonopin. Woman: Now that I’m a wife I thought I should be more proper, but it turns out he likes me slutty. Woman: I think the most passionate sex I will ever have will be during some really passionate adulterous affair. I would have to make a really conscious decision not to have an affair; it would be like fourth-order cognition. –Indus Valley, 100th & Broadway

Happy Sodom & Gomorrah Day, New York!

Lesbian #1: Huh. There seems to be a disproportionate number of queers around here.
Lesbian #2: Darling, we’re on Christopher Street. –Christopher Street Boy: Mom, I want gadgets!
Mother: No, Trevor. Not those gadgets. –Christopher Street Thug #1: Why would I pay $170 for new Jordans, when I can pay $250 for a pair of Pradas?
Thug #2: I hear dat.
Thug #1: Plus I’m sure to get more ass in Pradas. –JFK Airtrain Overheard by: les koh Latin guy: What are you staring at?
White guy: I can’t get over how beautiful the bartender is. Look at her, she looks like a movie star.
Latin guy: That’s a guy.
White guy: I know. –The Stonewall, Christopher Street Chick on cell: Yo, I’m going to that gay parade, those people are doin’ it. Those boys be makin’ each other cum. –Target, Atlantic Avenue

I’ll Take One of Those Fake Ones, Please

Girl #1: So we’re in bed, fooling around, and he goes, “Does it feel good when I rub your G-spot?” And I go, “I’ll let you know.”
Girl #2: Ooh, that’s so mean!
Girl #1: Please. I’ll fake a clitoral orgasm for anyone. But I draw the line at faking a G-spot orgasm. No man’s self-esteem is that important to me. –19th & Park

Call Me, Ishmael

Chick #1: I still haven’t make him come! It’s become, like, the major quest of my life.
Chick #2: So, basically, you’re Captain Ahab and he’s your Moby Dick?
Chick #1: Do you spend your spare time sitting around and thinking up these retorts?
Chick #2: I lead an empty life. –Dallas BBQ, 8th & University Overheard by: Djlindee

It Takes Irregular Sex to Give Her the Big O

Fat black chick: I can’t come when I’m having regular sex.
Skinny black chick: Why not?
Fat black chick: I don’t know. It just doesn’t happen.
Skinny black chick: Maybe the guy sucks.
Fat black chick: And I have a sensitive clit, too.
Skinny black chick: He definitely ain’t hittin it right. Maybe you should get rid of that punk ass bitch. –46th St. & 8th Ave.