Nymphet: No, I am serious. Three is menage a trois, but after that it is just an orgy. –East Village
Archive for the ‘Orgy’ Category
Threeway One-Liners
Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Inkling
35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.
–R Train
Overheard by: Abby and Holly
20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."
–Union Square
Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.
–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd
African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.
–48th St & Broadway
Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl
Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”
60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jeff
Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay!
–7th Ave & 6th St
Overheard by: NottRob
Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with.
–21st St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jonas
Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party.
–28th St & Lexington
Overheard by: sounds like a rager
Wednesday One-Liners Enjoy Team Sports
20-something guy on BlackBerry: No, he's not gay. I was in a fivesome with him, but he's not gay.
–L Train
Girl to gay friend after walking into gay bar: Dude, either find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.
–NYC
Girl to guy friends: I mean, he's okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Angry woman on phone: While you're out having orgies I am doing the real work!
–Victorian Flatbush
Pretentious professor type in academic tone: My ex had unrealistic fantasies. She used to dream about being fucked by God and Satan and the same time. How could I live up to that?
–NYU
Cue Neil Diamond
Cute but innocent 20-something: Guess where I'm going tonight?
Older female coworker: Oh, is tonight the night you're going out with the hockey team?
Cute but innocent 20-something: Yeah, I won a contest! I'm going to Pittsburgh on a bus with the Islanders.
Male coworker: And when you come back, you'll be a woman.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Big Larry
…That I Have to Go Get a Mean Bone in My Body
Girl #1: So he sent me a message on MySpace that said: “Hey, a few friends and I have a place at the beach, you should bring some of your friends down so we can get you drunk and take advantage of you.” But he said it in such a nice way, you know…
Girls #2: Yeah, I don't think there's like a mean bone in his body, so he can say stuff like that, and it's totally funny.
Girl #3: I wish my boyfriend was that cool, he gets mad at me because every time we have a fight I go out and get drunk with my friends. He thinks I'm going to get completely wasted and sleep with some random guy or something. It's so annoying.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Duran
Especially the Grass-Stained Knees
Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: MtZ
I'd Think Of It More As a Vegetable Medly
Guy #1: I mean, I dunno, she's a vegan, I just don't think I could have group sex with a vegan.
Guy #2: I could!
–Cake Shop
Overheard by: Liz V.
They're Like the Ocean– the Pressure's Strongest on the Bottom
Girl: It's so good to see you! I'm so glad you're coming to the party!
Guy #1: Me too! I'm excited.
Girl: But we should warn you–there's a very good chance this could turn into an orgy.
Guy #2: Not to put any pressure on you.
Guy #1: I mean, that's awesome. I've never been to an orgy before.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Flustered Commuter
Wednesday Doesn't Know a Single One-Liner Here Tonight
Girl to friend: This party is going to be awesome! Wait. We have to stop somewhere on the way…I gotta pee before I put out tonight.
–Montrose & Graham
Dude: Do you even know what an Animal Collective Listening Party means in the rest of the country?
–Animal Collective Album Listening Party, River Room, Harlem
Overheard by: care bear stare
Girl: I think it's okay if she parties, as long as it's with a bunch of Christians.
–West 4th b/w 6th & MacDougal
Girl to friend: There's this party in the East Village. It's called "Spit." I'll tell you next time I go. It's on Fridays. But my gawd, these guys are cokeheads. I ended up with ten of them in my apartment last week.
–8th & 18th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Chick on cell: Do parties *count* if there's nothing but necking and spanking and nipple-tweaking?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: I know I'm gay, but the best part of my Bar Mitzvah was meeting the party planner.
–Barns & Noble, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rijita