Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Orgy’ Category

Funny Story — I Ended Up at a Different Orgy

Guy: So, tell me about this new boy.
Girl: Well, technically I’ve already slept with him.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Remember that orgy? The guy who wasn’t Richard? That was him.
Guy: You know, I wasn’t at that orgy.

–4th & Mercer

Then I Speed-Dial My Therapist

Teen boy: What do you do to 10-year-old girls?
Friend: I don’t do anything to 10-year-old girls. I just do stuff to myself while I’m watching 10-year-old girls.

–Columbus Circle

Wednesday One-Liners Have an Amazing Ability to Multitask

Woman: You wanna have a gang bang? Then I’m not being nice today.

–32nd & 6th

Ghetto girl: While you was kissing him he was eatin’ her out.

–Penn Station

Woman on cell: What would I do without you? Who would archive my threesomes?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky

Cabbie, after four girls exit cab: Usually when four white girls get into cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are going to see their man for a gang bang.

–109th & Madison

Overheard by: wish i lived in harlem back then

Little girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!

–Amtrak out of Penn Station

Overheard by: Nipples

Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did everything to the brown-haired girl!

–Bedford Ave, between N 3rd & N 4th

Overheard by: chloe

Blonde chick on cell: No, you wouldn’t like them. They aren’t into orgies.

–Astor Place

A Concise History of the 1960s

Suit #1: So everybody was just fucking everybody?
Suit #2: Oh, yeah!

–48th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Peter

Why I Got out of the Stock Market

NYU chick #1: It’s like making out with a girl.
NYU chick #2: No, it’s like waking up in Tijuana with three Mexican boyfriends.

–Bleecker St & Macdougal St

Overheard by: Candi

Further Proof American Girls are Kinkier

English girl: The Strokes could do anything and be hot.
Friend: Yeah.
English girl: Even, like… hmm, I was going to say even if they were having a gay orgy, but –
Friend: That would be hot anyway!
English girl: Yeah! So they’d still be hot even if they…
Friend: Were peeing.

–MAC, Spring St

I Was Until You Told That Story

Teen girl: So somehow we all ended up in our underwear, then Katie suggested Truth or Dare. That was weird. I had to give her a lap dance, and Sarah had to lick my tits, and freaky stuff like that. It was more like some lesbian orgy than a sleepover.
Teen guy: That sounds… so hot.
Teen girl: Oh my God, I thought you were gay!

–R train

Wednesday One-Liners Fail the Purity Test

Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.

–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jaina Wald Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Water

Overheard by: Aubrie Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?

–Central Park


Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?

–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background! –Union Square Overheard by: Natalie Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broadway Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!

–45th & Lex Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum! –34th St Overheard by: naidababy

Suddenly, Caligula Seems a Lot Tamer

Teenage half-virgin boy: Did you know the official definition of an orgy is three people sitting in a room with their socks off?
Teenage one-quarter-virgin girl: No way! Then we have orgies all the time!

–SoHo

Overheard by: disgusted old lady.