Archive for the ‘Panhandling’ Category

At least she’s honest

A young girl selling M&Ms on the A train: “Hey, I’m not here for no basketball team or anything, but if ya’ll want to give me some money, that’s cool.” Note: she got quite a few sales, as well as a guy’s number

Wednesday One-Liners? Please Hold.

Guy on cell: I'm gonna come over and give you a big hug before doomsday.

–Outside NYU Dorm

Guy holding up drunk friend: I have to hug the fat kid?! Why don't you try hugging a fat kid?

–LIRR, Penn Station

Overheard by: Laura

Hobo to startled girl: If you give me a dollar I won't hug you.

–7 Train

Small boy, loudly, after some take-off turbulence: The plane is going down… Everybody hug!

–Runway Strip, JFK

Overheard by: PSUny

Maybe He Doesn't Eat Carbs?

Old black hobo: Folks… Look inside your heart. I am hungry and I am homeless. Please help me with some food or something. Look inside your heart.
(young black teenager keeps waving a subway sandwich in his face while hobo continues to rant)
Old black hobo
: Look inside your heart. I am so hungry. Just look inside your heart!

Young black teenager, real pissed off: Sucka, look inside this bag! There's a sandwich in here!

–1 Train

American Poor Is Different from Third-World Poor

Hobo #1: Feed our dogs?
Hipster woman: If I give you money, how do I know that it'll go to the dogs?
Hobo #1: Because I say so?
Hipster woman: That's not good enough.
Hobo #1: Come on, we're not assholes.
Hobo #2: Well, actually, we are.
Hobo #1: But not to our dogs!
(hipster woman laughs and walks away)

–3rd Ave & St. Mark's

I Certainly Couldn't Make It through Life Without That Stuff.

Hobo: Hey, there's your cab right there!
(suit opens cab door)
Hobo
: Hey, don't forget the tip! I pointed the cab out!

Suit: Yeah, the one I was already walking towards. Don't think so.
Hobo: Come on man, help a brother out.
Suit: Sorry, I don't have any singles.
Hobo: Come on papa, how's about a ten spot? I don't drink, I don't do drugs…
Suit: Well, maybe you should. (gets in cab)

–18th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: SandmanEsq