Hobo to young man getting out of a cab: Can you spare some change? (shakes cup in front of him)
Young man: No, thanks, I've already got a cup.
–E 10th & 1st
Overheard by: Dan
Archive for the ‘Panhandling’ Category
My Taxes Are Paid, Sir!
Very drunk African American guy to sober white guy: Yo, Wesley Snipes! You got any change?
Sober white guy: First of all, I'm not Wesley Snipes…
–Fulton Mall, Brooklyn
Much As I Love the United Negro Pizza Fund
Hobo, approaching preppy teens: Hey do y'all have some money so I could repair the motor on my giant helicopter?
Preppy teenage girl: Uh, sure.
Preppy teenage boy: Yeah, only because that's the coolest fucking reason ever.
–7th Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Horchata
If I Could Read Minds, I Wouldn't Be Homeless, Ma'am
Hobo: Spare some change, ma'm?
Woman: Ugh, I don't have any change, I'm going to yoga. Why would I carry change if I'm going to yoga?
–The Strand
The Five Dollars Is Your Copay
Hobo: Can you give me five dollars?
Lady walking past: No.
Hobo: Pine cones are very good for you.
Lady: Um… Okay.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisa
Funding Healthcare Reform May Be Easier Than We Think
Bag lady to man eating veggie burger: Yo! You eat that shit, it gonna go through yo body an' come out yo asshole!
Man eating: Thank you, miss. I'll be careful.
Bag lady: Got a quarter?
–89th St & Amsterdam
…As I Said to That Mugger Last Week.
Half-asleep hobo, in garbled voice: Can ya help me out, man…?
Passing student #1: What did he say?
Passing student #2: I dunno. If you're gonna beg you should at least enunciate!
–7th St & Ave B
…Minus Five Years and Twenty Pounds.
Hobo to lady: Hey, can I have a dollar?
Lady to hobo: Why? You already have a bottle of liquor, what else you need?
Hobo to lady: A fine pretty thing like you.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: I love NYC
Don't Torment the Homeless, Dude
Hobo: Spare some change, fine-lookin' sir?
Suit: Would your name by any chance be Henry?
Hobo: Do I look like a mothafuckin' Henry? Hell no!
Suit: Well, that would be a correct assumption, as Henrys are usually successful.
Hobo: Well then, are you a Henry?
Suit, proudly: Yeah.
Hobo: Spare some change, good-lookin' Henry?
Suit: Nah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: i could've been a henry
Ew, Who Wednesday One-Linered?
Elderly janitor, watching pierced teenagers get in line: I'm gonna fart on one of these people.
–Broadway & Houston
Angry man on cell: They think they're so perfect, but I bet they piss and burp and fart like the rest of us.
–80th St & 34th Ave
Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need to buy some new underwear, I farted and shat in these.
–83rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: new girl in town
Tiny brunette: Have you ever had to pee so bad, and suddenly you fart and then you don't have to pee that badly anymore?
–7 Train
Young woman to friend: Yeah, and then she started fartin' a bunch. But she was farting out of her pussy. And Ashley got pissed, cause then, she started makin' a beat out of it.
–125th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Stephen