Archive for the ‘Panhandling’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Think You Haven’t Heard the One about the United Negro Pizza Fund

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: Mayor Bloomberg is a pol pot, I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and I am trying to get some money for a snack wrap. Your kindness is appreciated. –4 train Overheard by: Scotty H. Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have walked many, many miles, and I have sucked many, many dicks, but I… [doors close]. –E train, W 4th Hobo rattling coin can as WASP lady passes: Mrs. Rockefeller, pay yo’ bills! –79th & Lex Overheard by: Clook Hobo to another: So, I hear you’re an international spy now. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: tj Wheelbo: Can somebody give me some money so I can buy a Rolex? Please hurry. I want to know what time it is. –80th & Broadway

Man, Those Hobos Really Need to Take Some Creative Writing Classes

Lady to young man: Excuse me, sir, I just lost my wallet…
Young man (interrupting): And you need a dollar to get a bus home?
(lady says nothing and walks off) –14th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave Overheard by: I love Artichoke! Headline by: Allison Runners-Up:
· “Actually I Was Hoping for Your Emergency Condom” – “Jimmy” Wrapper
· “Asshat Misses Chance at Cheap BJ” – Leary Blaine
· “Ladies Get Turned Off by Todd’s Premature Speculation Problem” – FizzyGurrl
· “Maybe She’s Afraid Of Psychics” – tedric
· “Psh, Like Buses Only Cost a Dollar” – samson
· “They Give You More If You Just Call It a “Bailout”” – stimulated economy
· “This Might Have Worked Better If They Hadn’t Already Been on the Bus” – KateNonymous
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Every Little Wednesday One-Liner Helps

Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"? –English Department, Hostos Community College Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time! –1 train Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless! –1 Train Overheard by: sagehen Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run! –F Train Overheard by: yana

Careful, He Wants You to Drop Your Guard

A large bearded black man is holding a big white sign that reads: NINJAS KILLED MY FAMILY. I NEED $$ TO LEARN KUNG-FU AND GET REVENGE. Drunk yuppie: Ha, ha. So dude, are you really going to become a ninja?! Ha, ha!
Black guy: Nah, man. This is just for humor. This ain’t for real. –Broadway & 76th Overheard by: M-Co