Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

And If That Doesn't Work, We'll Tell Him Jesus Hates Drinkers!

Small girl, seeing drunken man reeling down the street: Daddy, what's wrong with that man?
Father: I think he's just drunk a bit too much beer.
Small girl: Hannah's daddy likes beer.
Father: Yes, but if you drink too much of it, it can make you fall down.
Small girl: We should tell him!
Father: I think he probably knows.
Small girl: He might not!

–Times Square

Well Met on Opening Day

Guy on cell: Hey, what’s up?…I’m at the Met game…The Mets are up 2 to 1, but Washington has 2 men on and nobody out…Two-one. No outs.
Guy #2: There’s one out.
Guy on cell: Oh, sorry. One out. We’ve been here since 8 and I’ve been drinking since 8:30. I’m wasted…Listen, Ma, I gotta go, I’m missing the game. He hangs up. Guy #1: My mother calls to get the score. Turn on the radio! –Shea Stadium Dude: Hey, Carlos! Steal second, I won’t tell anybody! –Shea Stadium Dude: Get off your knees; you’re blowing the game! –Shea Stadium

Yes.

Loud mother: So that's what this is about? Really?
Unhappy young son: (looks down, says nothing)
Loud mother: Really? That's what this is all about? An orange drink! This is all because of an orange drink?
Unhappy son: (looks down, says something barely audible)
Loud mother: I'm overreacting? You think I'm the one who is overreacting??

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: tycho anomaly