Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

Wednesday Slowly Dropped Her One-Liners to the Floor

Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid.

–Veniero's Pastry Shop

Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse…

–57th St

Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers.

–14th & 6th

Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked.

–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: rick

Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers?

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment

Wednesday One-Liners Mostly Just Stand Around

Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.

–The Met

Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . .

–William & Beekman

NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care!

–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park

Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like!

–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA

Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.

–JFK Airport