Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

Panda: “I Feel Somehow…Unfulfilled.”

Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go!

–Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

They're So Grateful for My Tips, Though

20-something girl: Where do you want to go to dinner? How 'bout that Italian place on the Lower East Side? The one we went to when your parents were in town?
Tarty friend: Oh, no. We can't go there.
20-something girl: Why not?
Tarty friend: (stares at her intently)
20-something girl: Oh. Well, how bout that place we like in the West Village?
Tarty friend: Nope. Sorry.
20-something girl, exasperated: Hey, can you, like, stop sleeping with the waiters at all our favorite restaurants? I'd really like to be able to eat at these places again.
Tarty friend, sighing earnestly: I'll try.

–2 Train

Overheard by: doesn't know whether to be impressed or judgmental

Wednesday One-Liners for Kendra

Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!

–Chrystie & Housten

Overheard by: Probably True…

Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Would the street be safer?

Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.

–Duane Reade

Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.

–Inwood

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Katface