Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

…That Drive Pink Convertables and Have the Genitalia of a Eunuch!

20-something girl: I don't believe in foundation makeup.
50-something woman: Really?
20-something girl: I used to wear it a long time ago, when I was younger, but it makes you look so fake, like a doll…which is stupid because we're people!

–Madison Square Park

Headline by: Skipper

Runners-Up:
· “…And That’s When I Dropped Out Of Clown School.” – Danny the Mullins
· “Barbie’s Infiltration Plan Is Working” – Natalie
· “Besides, The Tips at the Carnival Were Totally Not Cutting It” – Dave
· “Britney Tries Her Hand at Philosophy” – Fresca P.
· “Excerpts from the Human Tissue-Silicone Ratio Debate” – ty
· “I Also Refuse Parachutes; I Ain’t No Bird!” – Jeff
· “Max Factor Is…People!” – Chris


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

New York Is Full of Women with Identical Scowls

Hobo #1, to chick passerby: Hey! Good morning! You should smile more — you’re beautiful!
Hobo #2: She’s not that pretty.
Hobo #1: I beg to differ!
Hobo #2: Hey, man, if you want to go worship her preppy ass, go for it, but she’s not that special.

–Tompkins Square Park

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Wednesday One-Liners Worry That Trucker Hats May Be Out

Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.

–E Train

Overheard by: dru

Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.

–N 6th St, Williamsburg

Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!

–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint

Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…

–Central Park

Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!

–Union Hall

Overheard by: Cass

Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?

–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg

Vanity, Thy Name Is Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"

–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn

Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!

–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn

Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.

–PATH

Overheard by: Corey

Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.

–Montague St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!

Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!

–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea

Overheard by: Evan

Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!

–Washington Heights