Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

What's Eating Wednesday One-Liners?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.

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Wednesday One-Liners, Literally

Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate! –14th b/w 3rd & 4th Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away) –Bowling Green Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots! –McCarren Park, Brooklyn (intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep) –Hudson Line Train Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee! –Brooklyn Bridge Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers! –Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway Overheard by: Suze V

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There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have

Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema… –50th & 8th Overheard by: chris Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal! –1st Ave & St. Mark's Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes. –Central Park Overheard by: Lola Black Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked. –W 4th St 20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria. –Café

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Getting Wednesdayed Is Easy; Staying One-Linered Is Hard

Man to woman: Well, I've already been in two successful marriages… –Hudson River Park Talkative husband to blase wife: We've been married for over a year, who would not like us? –F Train Overheard by: Elise Girl: So, when you say "married," is that like "married-and-just-not-divorced-yet," or like "married-married-and-actually-living-together"? –6 Train Woman on cell: Well, it's a good thing you didn't marry Susan's brother, because he ended up losing a testicle. –DUMBO, Brooklyn Overheard by: Megan Woman on cell: Sorry, but if I wanted to be heavily sedated and drunk all day, I'd marry you. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Josh Guy with eye patch: If a girl eats out your ass on the first date, you marry her! –77th & 34th

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