Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Call It “Extreme Sharing”

20-something hipster to friend, punching him in the arm: Dude, you stole my Facebook status! –Central Park Overheard by: dude, just think up a new one! Cable man to another, standing in line at Wendy's: Yeah, I was across the street at Popeyes, but it looked like some man was going to rob the place, so I came here instead. –Flatbush & Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn Overheard by: Anna Crazy lady to pigeon: Get outta here! You ain't gonna get none if you beg. You gotta wait for me to give it to you. (throws bread in other direction) That's why you ain't get none. (a few minutes later, she gets up to leave) Alright. It's been real. Thank for not stealing my potato chips. –Tribeca Park Four-year-old boy to mom: Mom, when you take chips from my bag without asking, you're stealing. We talked about this. We talked about this at length. –Uptown 3 Train Overheard by: This girl from NY

Yep, That’s Everyone

Angry Guy: Fuck New England. Fuck people from Boston. Fuck Pats’ fans, fuck Red Sox fans, fuck Ben Affleck, fuck Denis Leary, fuck Harvard, fuck MIT, fuck Aerosmith, fuck the Pixies, fuck David Foster Wallace, fuck Boston Cream pie and clam chowder and Sam Adams, fuck Dr. Spock, fuck pahking your cah in Hahvahd Yahd, fuck Sacco and Vanzetti, fuck Paul Revere, fuck ’em all. –Borough Park

Panda: “I Feel Somehow…Unfulfilled.”

Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go! –Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo Overheard by: Susan Volchok

There’s the Reason Not to Be into Sex

Girl: It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, it’s just that I’m not as into sex as you are.
Guy: That’s bullshit — you’re only 22 and you’ve fucked 24 people. You are definitely into sex.
Children from school bus directly next to the couple, all leaning out the window: Seeex! –Irving & Eldert, Bushwick Overheard by: alex