Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

There’s the Reason Not to Be into Sex

Girl: It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, it’s just that I’m not as into sex as you are.
Guy: That’s bullshit — you’re only 22 and you’ve fucked 24 people. You are definitely into sex.
Children from school bus directly next to the couple, all leaning out the window: Seeex! –Irving & Eldert, Bushwick Overheard by: alex

Wednesday Fatty-Boombalatty-Liners

Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby. –Uptown A Train Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good. –Sheep Meadow, Central Park Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no. –East Village Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding! –N Train Overheard by: wasn't even invited Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring! –40th & Madison Ave Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing. –9th & 15th Overheard by: Courtney

Wednesday One-Liners and the People Who Love Them

Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet! –Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents Overheard by: jycho Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com. –Student Center, Barnard Overheard by: Kristine Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets! –50th Ave & Broadway Overheard by: Colleen Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men. –E 10th St Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet? –20th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Jesse S G

You’d Think the Distribution System Would Be Better

Homie #1: Drugs is huge, man, huge! If there wasn’t no drugs, there’d be no police! No drugs, no lawyers! No drugs, no judges! Nobody would be in prison! All those guards, no jobs! The whole prison system would collapse! No drugs, nobody in the hospitals! Doctors out of work… Drugs is too big! We’re a big part of the economy! Nobody is gonna touch drugs, man, so chill. We need drugs!
Homie #2: True dat. –125th & Lenox

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused. –Washington Square East 20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! –N Train Overheard by: TR Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body. –39th & 9th Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Ems Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block! –Bedford & Grove Overheard by: How many is too many? Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother. –Tisch School of the Arts Overheard by: Bruce Lee Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Jingles