Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

What's Eating Wednesday One-Liners?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.

Effing Wednesday One-Liners

Chick on cell: The well of his fuckwaddery springs eternal. –Columbia University Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy Columbia student: Fuck. Fucking titties! What the fuck? Fucking titties, this is some goddamn bullshit! I really want a snack. –110th & Broadway Guy to girl: Are you serious? I'm not fucking creepy, okay? I'm not fucking creepy. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: NYU girl Man on bicycle, yelling at car: Fuck you! Yeah, use your fucking blinkers, you fuckstick! –10th & Broadway Overheard by: Helene and Alice Guy on cell, in monotone with no pauses: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I need you, I need you, I need you, bitch. (hangs up) –M4 Bus

Wednesday Puts on Its One-Liners One Leg at a Time

Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done. –Broadway & 86th St Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time. –Union Square Overheard by: Giancarlo Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down. –Diner, 3rd Ave Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!" –Battery Park