High-school teen to friend: So, like, every guy that likes me must totally be a pedophile. –Flatbush & Dekalb, Brooklyn 13-year-old: I mean, he’s not a pedophile, he’s just very open with his sexuality, and I like that. –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Kelly Lesbian on cell: I just saw these girls and they were pretty. Really pretty. And fifteen. But then I heard them talking and I realized they were French! So it’s fine. Fifteen is legal there. –36th St & Fifth Ave Middle-aged teacher: I have this girl in my class that’s a six-year-old with a 46-year-old woman’s body. –Prem-On Thai Overheard by: office peon Guy who just got more beer: This is the happiest place on earth… Except for that kindergarten I’m not allowed to go back to anymore. –McSorley’s, 7th & 3rd Overheard by: I’ll drink to that! Seven-year-old boy running after another child: I’m a pedophile! I’m a pedophile! I’m a pedophile! –Coney Island Boardwalk Overheard by: that’swhathesaid
Biotech, indignantly: I didn’t have sex when I was 13! I waited ’til I was 14. –Doma Cafe & Gallery, Perry St Overheard by: Kate Hairstylist, joking with customer in chair: Yeah, I mean, prepubescent and androgynous was so last season. [Thinks for a moment, then] Actually, it really was. –Soho Overheard by: Sooo not last year Hot chick shouting across intersection to friend: … And stop sleeping with underage boys! –55th & Madison Young father to twin toddler sons: That pigeon might be a pedophile. –Outside Museum of Natural History Overheard by: kritta
Girl #1: So what do you see in him?
Girl #2: Well, he sorta reminds me of Brian, from Family Guy. Y’know, the dog?
Girl #1: You can NOT date somebody on that basis!
Girl #2: But he’s adorable… I am NOT a pedophile! –Morningside Heights