Gay Guy #1: How’d you like that trough?
Gay Guy #2: What trough?
Gay Guy #1: The trough you pissed in.
Gay Guy #2: Oh, I loved it!
–Slide, East Village
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Archive for the ‘Pee’ Category
When Queer Eye Attacks
Nut: Fucking homosexual! Watching another man do his business. You must be gay. –Union Square
Piss Off
Man Urinating Publicly: What do I care? I’m a convict! –Waverly Place Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Maybe I’m Squeezing You Too Hard (AKA Escape from the Port Authority)
Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too? –Port Authority Overheard by: Kris
A Little Potty Humor–Literally
Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy.
Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall.
Girl: Mommy?
Mother: Yes?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet!
–Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave
Urine: The Other Universal Language
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor. –Chinatown
Who's a Good Wednesday One-Liner? You Are!
Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!
–University & 9th
Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!
–East Village
Overheard by: Z
Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Jessie
Oh, Whew
Girl #1: Dude, why do all these black guys want to fuck me?!
Girl #2: No, this guy just wants you to pee on him.
–63rd St & West End Ave
Translation: I'm Totally A-OK With You Getting Arrested
Hipster on cell: So, are you gonna pee on the subway or hold it?
Future subway peeer: (inaudible response)
Hipster on cell: Yeah, dude, I do it all the time. Just do your thing in the corner, open the side door, an' let it slosh out when you're movin' between stations. Dude, even women do it. Totally a-okay!
–67th St & Columbus
Overheard by: kjirsten johnson
Wednesday One-Liners Need More Bandwidth
Teen girl on cell: Are you kidding, mom? Google shapes everyone's lives, whether they like it or not. You google everything.
–W 28th St
20-something-girl: He has liked every status I put up since Wednesday. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I was like, "stop peeing all over my Facebook page!"
–42St & 2nd Ave
NYU student on cell: Honestly, that blog was the most profound thing I've ever written.
–Mercer & W 4th
Overheard by: Bloggers have depth too
40-year-old woman dressed as 16-year-old, on cell: Samantha, just go on Facebook and text him already. (pause) Of course you can do that, everyone does it.
–Outside Five Guys Burgers