Guy: Baby, I gotta piss, shit…barf, burp, sneeze, all that crap.
Punk girl: Oh my God. If I see Jorge I’m going to poop my pants.
Overheard by: Holly Kaye
Woman: Do you know how nasty maxi pads are? It’s like a baby sitting in its own shit. It’s like me sloshing around in my own blood!
–22nd & Park
Overheard by: Sion Harrington
Crazy lady: Can I get some privacy? I saw you peeking through the crack. All I wanna do is pee. Can I get some privacy? All I wanna do is pee. If you wanna see pussy, I can show you where to go but can I get some privacy? All I wanna do is pee!
–Penn Station ladies’ room
Overheard by: bebe
Woman: Excuse me! If you’re going to pee on the seat do you think you could at least wipe it off when you’re done so the next person doesn’t have to sit in it?
–Grand Central ladies’ room
Dude on cell: …so I picked it up and there was, like, some brown stuff on it that I thought was, like, dirt. So I went to brush it off with my hand…but dude, it, like, wasn’t dirt…no…
Overheard by: P. Mills
Girl: Yo, this motherfucking butterscotch tastes like jizz!
–Loews, 32nd & 2nd
Overheard by: annie lin
Woman on cell: I don’t even know how to wash his balls when they’re that dirty!
Overheard by: cat verde
Punk chick: Guys are so lucky they don’t have to bleed and when they do, it’s like, all manly.
Overheard by: Miss Amelia