Archive for the ‘Pee’ Category

Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: An Embarrassed Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom. –Barnes & Noble Overheard by: V Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents! –Pathmark, Massapequa Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead? Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults. –Columbia University Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not. –Columbia University Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun." –Grand Central Overheard by: galgal

She Got Eight Volunpeers

Girl #1: Ew, you’re holding on to the bar?
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m holding on to the bar. If I don’t I’ll fall over.
Girl #1: Ew. That is so gross. That’s like the one thing that grosses me out more than anything.
Girl #2: It’s just a bar.
Girl #1: No, you don’t understand. I would rather have someone pee on my face than touch that thing. –N train

Translation: I'm Totally A-OK With You Getting Arrested

Hipster on cell: So, are you gonna pee on the subway or hold it?
Future subway peeer: (inaudible response)
Hipster on cell: Yeah, dude, I do it all the time. Just do your thing in the corner, open the side door, an' let it slosh out when you're movin' between stations. Dude, even women do it. Totally a-okay! –67th St & Columbus Overheard by: kjirsten johnson