Archive for the ‘Penis’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for Pauly D.

Guido: It just depends where you put your penis.

–South Street Seaport

Guido on cell: Can I get a blowjob with that too? (pause) Mmmm ,yeah. Where are you right now?

–Wagner College

Overheard by: Ferch

Guido: I'm about to go back to Men's Warehouse and be like, "what the fuck?"

–51st St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Puerto Rican girl: That's it! Koreans are like Asian Guidos! Except they don't tan…

–59th & 10th

Overheard by: shawn

Do You Have Wednesday One-Liner Envy?

Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!

–East Village

Overheard by: Katie

Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.

–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St

Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?

–3rd & 16th

Overheard by: Joe & Eliz

Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?

–Long Island City

Overheard by: Sunny

Everyone Knows Red Means “Stop”

Girl to friend: I think I just saw the guy I was with last night.
Friend: You gonna go say something to him?
Girl: No way! First he made me give him a handjob for like an hour, then he shot right in my eye. I think it's still red.
Friend: Your eye or his cock?
Girl: Either way, no second date.

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: hellokitty

Wednesday XXX-Liners

Overly flamboyant gay guy on phone: There is no way he can put himself through law school doing hardcore gay porn!

–Soho

Overheard by: Anastassia

Gay boy to another: Pornstars make good money.

–L Train

Girl: He wants to make money, but all his plans involve me being in porn. You know how long it takes to make a $1000 in porn? Three months!

–Destination Bar, 13th & Ave A

Overheard by: erkala

Heavyset dude to chick watching the Olympics: So I was watching curling porn the other day…

–Lucky Jack's bar, Orchard St.

Overheard by: Ladle

Guy to friend: I saw that girl in a porn video last night. She has a cock.

–William & Cedar

Overheard by: Laura