Man: …I’m saying, you’ve passed out, and then the cat eats you. So just don’t pass out. –1 Train Overheard by: Dan Dickinson Drunk woman: …so I had the 6 pounds of meat for the meatloaf and I’m stirring. It was for like 15 people–I had the whole family over–and I turn away for one minute. I came back to find my daughter stirring it, but she had poured in Meow Mix cat food. So me and my mother start picking the cat food out (it was the seafood flavored one) but there was too much in it. So I just put it in the oven, and while everyone was eating it I kept singing the Meow Mix song under my breath. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law asked for the recipe afterwards. –LIRR to Penn Station Overheard by: Jax
A pushy, obnoxious woman tries to cram her way onto the subway before the passengers exiting even get a chance to get out the door. She screams: If you would get out of the way and let me on first, then you can get off! –Penn Station
Pretty girl: I wish my boyfriend loved me more than he loves weed.
Less pretty friend: But you only like him for his weed.
Pretty girl: Oh yeah… Still.
Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman.
Guido #1, in drunken sing-songy voice: Yan-kees suuuuck! Yan-kees suuuuck!
Guido #2: They win a lot!
–Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: jalabi99
Husky male employee, singing along to radio in high pitch voice: “I'm looking at the man in the mirror…”
Female employee passing by: Sing it!
Husky male employee: I'm trying!
–K-Mart, Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Wife: If you're brain dead–I'm sorry, but I'm having them pull the plug!
Husband: (blank look)
Wife: You'd want that, right?
–Near Penn Station
Overheard by: LK
Seven-year old boy to bookseller: Do you have any books on crop circles in this library?
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Amused bookseller a few feet away
Man to another: Don't you know? All those tunnels in Afghanistan run into the pyramids in Gaza! If I was President there would be one less pyramid.
–Soup Kitchen, Midtown
Overheard by: John Gordon
Gentleman on train: You know why they invented daylight savings, don't you? It's because of Halloween, a lot of congressmen wanted kids to have an extra hour to go trick or treating. That's why we have daylight savings.
Overheard by: Annie
Elderly professor: Fewer chairs, less chalk every week. It's a conspiracy!
Overheard by: Denali
Announcer: Attention all passengers! The a train will be running on the local platform. It will not be running on the express platform. If you are on the middle platform, you are on the wrong platform. Excuse me, if you are wearing a checkered dress, you are on the wrong platform. If you are wearing a checkered dress and pushing a baby carriage, you are on the wrong platform. Hello! I'm talking to you! The a train will be running on the local platform!
Random guy: Yo, this bitch is dumb! Get off the platform, dumb bitch!
(checkered dress lady continues to stare down tunnel)
–A Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Kosi
Guy on cell: I'm gonna come over and give you a big hug before doomsday.
–Outside NYU Dorm
Guy holding up drunk friend: I have to hug the fat kid?! Why don't you try hugging a fat kid?
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Laura
Hobo to startled girl: If you give me a dollar I won't hug you.
Small boy, loudly, after some take-off turbulence: The plane is going down… Everybody hug!
–Runway Strip, JFK
Overheard by: PSUny